Yep, I am rapidly losing the battle against a plague of mosquitos who have taken up residence in my back garden. Apparently, a 'perfect storm' (opens in a new window) of horrendously wet weather throughout the summer, combined with fairly warm temperatures, has provided the perfect breeding ground for the relentless little bastards.
It's a bit like living in an Amazonian rain-forest, but without any cool shit that you would get in a tropical habitat: like sunshine, exotic flora and fauna, frogs with long tongues, copulating orang utans, lurking crocodiles, bird-eating flowers, and men in loin cloths killing wild boar with a single shot of their poisoned dart.
Except that I live in Oxford. And the most exotic animals that we get round here are cows. And pigeons. And sometimes I spy ants carrying out the breadcrumbs from my kitchen because I am a bit slovenly about housework. But sadly no men in loin cloths. The men here all wear tweed jackets with leather patches at the elbow, because that makes you intelligent.
But still, back to the matter in hand. I am being slowly bitten to death by the berluddy mozzies.
Pic.No.1 If this picture was taken in my house, I would twat that mozzie with a spade
Despite wearing 'Mosquito-Proof Jungle Formula Spray' (whenever I remember to apply it), I am still sporting between 40 - 50 mozzie bites all over my legs and torso, and it's getting worse every night.
Yet Izzy and Naughty George remain bite-free. What the blazes is that all about then?
I implore you ..... if you know any tricks for getting rid of the buggers, can you let me know? I am beginning to look like a victim of Leprosy, except I haven't had any limbs fall off. which is handy in the day-to-day scheme of things.
Maybe I should spend tomorrow inventing a Mozzie blow-torch?
Look forward to hearing from you dahlink!
P.S. Update! After writing this post, I had a parcel arrive in the post. Some kind people from a company called 3M Select, had read about my plight, and sent me this ..........
Pic.No.2 Huzzar. Thank you 3M Select ..... that'll see the little bastards off ......