Monday, 29 October 2012

Help me! I am being bitten to death .....

I'm under seige I am. A bit like the Last of the Mohicans (that's the only siegey-type thing I could think of). Except that I'm not using a twig to defend myself against gunfire. Although I might as well be.

Yep, I am rapidly losing the battle against a plague of mosquitos who have taken up residence in my back garden. Apparently, a 'perfect storm' (opens in a new window) of horrendously wet weather throughout the summer, combined with fairly warm temperatures, has provided the perfect breeding ground for the relentless little bastards.

It's a bit like living in an Amazonian rain-forest, but without any cool shit that you would get in a tropical habitat: like sunshine, exotic flora and fauna, frogs with long tongues, copulating orang utans, lurking crocodiles, bird-eating flowers, and men in loin cloths killing wild boar with a single shot of their poisoned dart.

Except that I live in Oxford. And the most exotic animals that we get round here are cows. And pigeons. And sometimes I spy ants carrying out the breadcrumbs from my kitchen because I am a bit slovenly about housework. But sadly no men in loin cloths. The men here all wear tweed jackets with leather patches at the elbow, because that makes you intelligent.

But still, back to the matter in hand. I am being slowly bitten to death by the berluddy mozzies.
 
Pic.No.1 If this picture was taken in my house, I would twat that mozzie with a spade

Despite wearing 'Mosquito-Proof Jungle Formula Spray' (whenever I remember to apply it), I am still sporting between 40 - 50 mozzie bites all over my legs and torso, and it's getting worse every night.

Yet Izzy and Naughty George remain bite-free. What the blazes is that all about then?

I implore you ..... if you know any tricks for getting rid of the buggers, can you let me know? I am beginning to look like a victim of Leprosy, except I haven't had any limbs fall off. which is handy in the day-to-day scheme of things.

Maybe I should spend tomorrow inventing a Mozzie blow-torch?

Look forward to hearing from you dahlink!

P.S. Update! After writing this post, I had a parcel arrive in the post. Some kind people from a company called 3M Select, had read about my plight, and sent me this ..........

Pic.No.2  Huzzar. Thank you 3M Select ..... that'll see the little bastards off ......


36 comments:

  1. you just need to have more alcohol in your blood system ;)

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  2. Hi Anne, welcome to my Followers! I get bitten too. Once went on a school excursion, and one of the kids got horribly bitten my mosquitos.I used perfume on her arms, hands etc.Takes the heat out and they didn't come back.Cintronella helps!

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  3. Queen of Dreamsz29 October 2012 20:50

    Hello Anne,

    Nice to meet you too! I'm your new follower. So happy you dropped by for a visit. Mosquitos LOVE me. I must have sweet blood. LOL And of course, I hate them! Yes, you must make a gluebook(s). I'm drawing spider webs in all the white space to fill in the entire pages. It's fun being 8 years old again. :0) I see many more to come.


    Hugs,
    Steph ♥

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  4. Dear Helen Hartman29 October 2012 21:27

    I don't have any tips but I do want to say I have enjoyed my first visit to your blog today!

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  5. Hi Anne, thanks for visiting my blog today and being a follower! You are so funny...but the mosquitoes are not! This year we've had a drought..until today thanks to Hurricane Sandy...and we've had very little buggers to bite us. I find keeping any bird baths, fountains, etc...that might hold water dry will keep them from breeding. Have you tried the OFF thingie that clips to your clothes? That works pretty good. Good luck..P. S. Your daughter is adorable and I love the freebies you received!

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  6. Mosquito's in Oxford! In Winter, its a sign of the apocalypse!

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  7. Shelly Rollins30 October 2012 05:05

    Thank you for stopping by my Blog via our dear Vicki! Hope you get the buggers under control soon!!

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  8. Hmm can't give you any tips for fighting them off, apart from th trusty spade that is. We are battling with a dog with fleas! ugh ugh. Same thing, wet weather has bought a hailstorm of fleas to our village, the vet says she has sold gallons of bug spray this year, wouldn't you have thought the little buggers would have given cold and rainy Lancashire a miss, rehaps it is the Theakstons in our blood that is attracting them! Good luck.

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  9. My problem this year has been midges. They could even teach the Scottish midge a thing or two. I can't do any work in the woods, they bite me half to death, and within seconds I have red bumps all over face and neck. I look like something out of Star Trek.

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  10. The best thing I've found for mosquito bites is the Therapik. It's basically a little light that you apply to the bite, let it heat up, and the heat destroys the anticoagulant that makes you itchy. This is what we use when we go camping or go to the cottage where we know we will have a lot of mosquitoes. It's available on-line and I would highly recommend it. You do have to heat it up till it feels like a pinch, but it's short term discomfort and way better than having mosquito bites keeping you up all night.

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  11. Get some citronella candles for the bedroom.. at least they will leave you alone when you are sleeping!

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  12. PS.. now you know why we have all the window mesh...

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  13. You're going to have to move to a tropical habitat so you can have the cool shit as well as the bites.

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  14. Can't believe you've mozzies, when it's almost bleedin' November! Serves you right for enjoying tropical warmth darn saaf (well, saaf east, innit!)


    I hear others who swear by Skin So Soft from Avon, the shower wash, if you can get hold of it, deters mozzies very well apparently, and genuine tropical ones at that! Good luck, bella x

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  15. Fran, that's what I like about you .... you always come up with berluddy good ideas! I am off to research my preferred Amazonian jungle as we speak ... ;-)

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  16. Me? Lady Clumsy of Clumsyville ... have candles in bedroom? I can already see the gist of my next blog post ;-)

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  17. That window mesh, and the big mesh enclosures around your swimming pool are absolutely fantastic ..... but I live in ENGLAND. I shouldn't be plagued my mozzies, but it's the second year running. I blame it on that climate global warming ozone thingy.

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  18. Hello Karen, aaaaaahhhhh, that's interesting. I have never heard of Therapik, and after what you have said, I am hoping we have it in the UK. The rate I am getting bitten at the moment, I would probably qualify as a wholesale customer! Thanks ever so much for the tip, I really appreciate it. Just off to go and research it now ...... anything's gotta be better than this perpetual itching ...... ;-)

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  19. Apparently, Avon Skin so Soft spray has them on the run. Even Lumberjacks swear by it. Even so, Oxford at this time of year!?

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  20. Hey Toff, really? Avon? So what do I do ...... spray the bastard mozzie, or spray it on myself as a repellant? Yep, I am plagued .... in Oxford ... at this time of year (and it was the same last year)! It got so bad that I called in a Rentokil type chap to rule out fleas or bed bugs. But he said my house was clear and that it was definitely Mozzies. My mate Andy is in Somerset and he has also been plagued by mozzies ..... ugh... I can see them flying up against the window as I type ;-(

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  21. Ummmmm that's interesting. I have to admit that i have no idea what midges look like .... maybe I have got them here too ..... are they like small mozzies? P.S. you have my sympathy!

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  22. Awwww, Susan, I feel for you. Naughty George had fleas some years back, and it was a nightmare getting rid of the critters. It seems as though the crappy damp weather is increasing the incidences of all the little biting bastards ......!

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  23. No, thank YOU for stopping by! Nice to have you around ;-)

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  24. LOLOL! You daft git. I love a good conspiracy theorist!

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  25. Crikey, I hope you got through Hurricane Sandy unscathed ......! Obviously you did, because you are here now! You are so right ..... I have been told that if there is stagnant water in the vicinity, that mozzies will breed. But what is the OFF thingie? Pray tell me more .... it sounds like a solution. P.S. thanks for stopping by!

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  26. Cool ..... it was nice having you stop by!

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  27. Awww man alive, maybe we should set up a splinter group or something? "People who get bitten by mozzies"! I still find it weird that I am bitten all over, and my daugher and mutt sail through untouched.



    Yep, I am going to do a gluebook. You have inspired me. My hooligan will love it .... thanks for the idea ;-)

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  28. Shit, I need to drink more? That is the best solution to the problem I have read all day! Thanks dahlink!

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  29. Hello Bella, thanks for stopping by. Flippin' hek! You are the second person to mention Skin So Soft ..... I might have to give it a go. In fact I shall start my research immediately.

    Yep the mozzies are still biting in November, and the bastards did the same last year. Prior to that, I never had a bit in four years. Apparently it is caused by the rain.



    So you live up north do you? Whereabouts?

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  30. Houston is notorious for those bad boys.
    So I hear (though I know not for sure, they don't bight me either)
    if you rub dryer sheets all over you body, they don't like the smell
    and they'll stay away. Its better than bug spray, I think:) Good luck friend! A lot of people around here swear by it!

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  31. Hello Anne, thanks for visiting my blog. lol had to do it..
    I believe you are more likely to be sucked on if you've been eating bananas. ( True or False?)
    Or if you are A+ ( True or False?)
    Lastly. let the buggers finish sucking as you get the itchiness from them being shooed off, they get gnarly and leave the stuff that itches. (True or False?)

    Or just buck up and suck it all in big girl!
    Cheers A

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  32. You lucky git ..... why is it that they only target certain people?! Seriously - dryer sheets? It's worth a go, the jungle forumla spray is costing me a fortune ;-)

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  33. Hello Dahlink, I lurrrrved your zoo blog. Well funny ;-) I reckon it is true about bananas but false about shooeing the bastards off. Am I right? I hate them. Anything that stealthy has got to be evil.

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  34. Bodaciousboomer31 October 2012 21:00

    First thing- eliminate everything with a scent from your routine- perfumes, deodorants, fabric softeners, detergents, shampoos- everything! They love scents.

    Raid makes a gizmo you can clip on your pants. It's battery operated. A friend of mine swears by ite

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  35. That is really ridiculous. There are too many ways that marketing has gone too far.

    payday lenders

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  36. Flippin' hek, look at you! You are like Bear Grylls or something. What with the zoo and now all the random facts about mozzies ;-)

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