In my defence, I should point out that I never send anyone flowers. Simply because I could spend the money on more useful gifts like a set of spanners. I know what I would rather have, and suffice to say a bunch of pansies ain't going to help me change a flat tyre.
Back to the matter in hand. The last week or so has been a bit of a blur, comprising lots of random shit, and exacerbated by red wine. I'm telling you, the stress of it all would have found a lesser person wondering naked through the streets of Forest Hill, wringing their hands and mumbling; "where did Bitty go? Where's Bitty?" (P.S. I don't know who Bitty is either.)
Here is an example of some of the random shit ......
Pic.No.1 I am not sure why, but Izzy had to go to school dressed as a viking. She got into character and wanted to pillage Naughty George's dog biscuits. I only lintervened when she wanted to behead him with plastic axe
Pic.No.2 My car suffered a flat battery, and when I opened the bonnet to jump-start it, my iPhone fell out of my pocket and smashed (again). Thank the lord that I had previously treated myself to some jump-leads instead of a bunch of flowers
Pic.No.3 Izzy's Grandparents came to stay. You've already met them - they are the ones we went to visit in Cyprus, earlier in the year. Grandad Paul looks like Noel Edmunds
Pic.No.4 Grandad Paul and Izzy painstakingly built a lego castle with a wind turbine for power. I asked Izzy to showcase her creation. "Have you got me in the shot Mama?" she asked. I sure had, and she looked like an evangelical preacher with a levitating yellow Paddy hat
St Michaels Mount is an island with a Medieval castle built on it's summit. I say 'Medieval', but in reality, it's history spans a huge amount of time
Pic.No.5 This is what St Michael's Mount looks like on the map. It's a blob in the middle of the sea
So I am going to do a bit of history for you. But not too much. If I try to do too much "history", I lose interest and always end up playing Angry Birds on my iPhone. Or even better, that Flight Controller game. I managed to land 32 consecutive aircraft yesterday.
I digress. Back to the history of St Michael's Mount: In 350 BC (yep, before Jeez), the mount was a key port for trading tin to the rest of Europe. In 1135AD the stone church was built on the top. Following that date, there were centuries of scrapping done over the mount, some of which involved the Spanish Armada. The general scrapping ended in 1647 when Colonel John St Aubyn was nominated Captain of the Mount (woof! how many men would like that title?). He bought the Island in 1659, turned it into a private home, and his descendants have lived there ever since (and still do, although they have had to redecorate a number of times).
And because I am like Mother Theresa, except that I don't wear scratchy crackers ...... I have got some pictures for you .........
Pic.No.6 This is St Micheal's Mount. You can only get to it when the tide is out
Pic.No.7 At last! A picture of me ...... and Izzy of course
Pic.No.8 When the tide went out, a causeway (path) was revealed ...... quite a slippery one at that. We had to make sure we had enough time to visit the island before the tide came back in to avoid being stranded
Pic.No.9 One of the first things we encountered when we landed on the island, were numerous references to 'giants'. Here was the 'Giant's Well'
I got a bit curious about the references to Giants, so I did a bit of research ........ and here is the explanation (from the St Michael's Mount website - I nicked it):
"As you start to ascend the path leading to the Castle on St Michael's Mount, you'll walk past the Giant's Well - and a rock called 'The Giant's Heart', which is well marked. Both these are references to another Cornish legend. Jack the Giant Killer allegedly dug the well while the evil giant Cormoran was sleeping. As dawn broke, Jack blew on his horn and when Cormoran woke and rushed towards Jack he was blinded by the sun and he tumbled into the well; his heart flew 50 yards up the hill in the process - and that's the Giant's Heart that is in the stonework to this day. The well is to be found at OS Map Reference SW515298."
Pic.No.10 This was the marker for the 'Giant's Heart'
Pic.No.11 See that heart-shaped stone in the middle of the picture? Apparently, that's where Jack's heart landed after his encounter with the Giant
Pic.No.12 Enough of the Gianty-shit ....... we finally reached the castle perched upon the top of St Michael's Mount
Pic.No.13 The first room we entered was the study, and it had this marvellous fireplace
Pic.No.14 This was the view from the study window
Pic.No.15 This was the castle library
Pic.No.16 This was one of the Medeival bits (approx 1300AD) - The Great Hall. It was older than that tin of Corned Beef at the back of my cupboard
Pic.No.17 The Medieval dining table (over 700 years old). Definitely not from Ikea
Pic.No.18. In 1641AD, this was the family's Coat of Arms - two dobbins rearing, and some latin shit
Pic.No.19 The view from the castle to Marazion (the village on the mainland)
Pic.No.20 This was the view from the castle ramparts. Man alive, I DO NOT like heights .... and I started feeling all sway-ey
Pic.No.21 This is one of the turrets ..... it was a LOT higher than it looked in the pictures. Sacre Bleu!
Pic.No.22. I loved this: In 1846 Queen Victoria made an impromptu visit to St Michael's Mount whilst passing on the royal yacht, Britannia. The St Aubyns were not at home so she had tea in the Blue Drawing Room
Pic.No.23 I promise, they're 'armless! The Blue Drawing Room with Gothic Rococo styling
Pic.No.24 Hurrah, it's me again! (picture taken by Izzy)
Pic.No.25 The Ginge poses on the ramparts whilst multiple poses are going on in the background
Pic.No.26 Aha, so now we reach the Medieval church ...... it had better be good after climbing up 20 million steps and nearly swooning over the ramparts
Pic.No.27 Ok, yep. It had some lovely stained glass windows
Pic.No.28 A ladee with wings apparently trying to tazer a crim
Pic.No.29 This was the altar. The stained glass was magnificent and the walls were thicker than Mitt Romney
Pic.No.30. After the church, we headed down a number of small corridors adorned with numerous portraits of the St Aubyn family
Pic.No.31 And then we ended up in the Armoury room. There was this Japanese armour on display. But it looked like a taxidermied hamster was modelling it
Pic.No.32 Look at this! it was a window in the Armoury room. The walls were at least six feet thick. That's thicker than Paris Hilton
Pic.No.33 Finally after our tour of the castle, we got to play with the heavy artillery. This is Izzy, with her hero, Gary .......
Pic.No.34 Born free! As free as the wind blows ....... ! It felt like we were on top of the world being so high up in the castle grounds
Pic.No.35. And so we finally descended from the castle on the mount. And following a stroke of genius, we briefly stopped to have a cappuccino in the cafe next to the harbour, before heading home (Izzy is posing next to the cafe wall)
So dahlink, I have two tasks for you: (1). What have you done in the last weekend? and; (2) tell me about the oldest place you have ever visited.