However, you will be pleased to hear that I am now back in Oxford for a couple of days, and that I plan to catch up with my Christmas blog posts in the next week. Oh, and I should point out how Christmas works with Izzy. She spends Christmas day with her Father, and then she comes back to my house for a second Christmas on 30th December.
'Did you say that you were back in Oxford?' I hear you cry.
Bloody right I am. It took me three and a half hours to drive back from Leeds, mainly because everyone was driving like joeys because it was foggy.
Anyway, once back at home, things got off to a bad start and then carried on like dominos knocking each other over.
Firstly, one of the thirty bags that I was unloading from my car split open and a full bottle of sherry dropped out, and smashed onto the flagstones and rug in my kitchen. Yep, sherry... the stickiest, sweetest drink known to man. Bloody bugger.
Pic.No.1 This is the wet patch where the sherry bottle broke
It took me half an hour to sort out the broken glass and mop up the sticky residue. It was then that I noticed that Naughty George was licking up the bubbles left by the 'Lemon Scent All Purpose Floor Cleaner'.
"What the bloody hell are you doing Naughty George?" I cried, witnessing him shaking and heaving.
Fast forward 60 seconds.
"MUM!" Izzy shouted, "Naughty George has been sick!"
Pic.No.2 Naughty George barfed on the mat next to the back door
"Bloody hell", I shouted, "it's like a bleedin' zoo in here!"
Izzy and Naughty George looked sheepish and backed slowly out of the kitchen and into the Living Room in order to escape. It was then that Izzy flicked on the Living Room light, and .... would you bloody believe it .... managed to blow a fuse.
The whole house was pitched into complete darkness and silence.
Pic.No.3. My living room during the 'power out'. That square bit of light is my laptop screen
Izzy was crying because she didn't know what had happened, and I was left desperately trying to console her whilst trying to find (without a torch) which fuse out of 20 possibles, had blown.
Welcome home me..... Spillage. Sick. Power Out...... Oh yeh, I excelled myself this time.
Events like that don't generally have a tendency to phase me, but there was one single thing that pushed me over the edge. The whole time I was dealing with the crap detailed above, Izzy's new Christmas present was bouncing around the house....... watch the video below for details ...........
Vid.No.1 Bloody annoying laughing ball thing
WTF?! Who invented that? It was a ball that threw itself around the house laughing manically like Mr Rochester's mad wife in the novel Jane Eyre. It was the first time that I had ever wanted to stab a child's toy. Ah, the joys of Christmas.
So prey, do tell .... do you have any horror Christmas tales?
Anne Dickens | The day after yesterday