On a totally unrelated note, you will be pleased to hear that after the 'crapping in the kitchen' saga, Naughty George is back to his old self.
After getting up at 7.30 this morning, I went downstairs to make myself a cup of tea. NG hauled himself out of his basket, woofed at me vacuously for 30 seconds whilst I was waiting for the kettle to boil, and then proceeded to spew copiously next to my foot .... heave after gut-wrenching heave.
If I had to pinpoint a positive arising from the general scenario, it was that his puke was very well formed. I could quite clearly make out all the mushrooms he had eaten because they looked like they had just been chopped, except they were tinted a biley-orangey colour.
But perplexedly, I hadn't given him any food with mushrooms in.
What's that all about, then? That's my Georgie ............................
After puke-gate, I decided to do some more research into one of my favourite hobbies .... discovering interesting things you can do with dead pets. After all, it seems such a waste to just bury them. And I have found some cracking uses for our dead companions in the past: 'When Taxidermy goes Wrong' and 'Addicted to Taxidermy: It's Dead Good' (both open in new windows).
And because I am like Ghandi, but with a better hairstyle, I have got some new taxidermy pictures to inspire you when Rover carks it .......
Pic.No.1 Jeez, I have got no idea what this animal is, but I want to put it on a pole outside my front door for comedy value. That'll stop the pizza leaflets
Pic.No.2 Blimey, Someone wanted to hold onto this image of their cat in the litter tray for posterity ... did they preserve the crap as well?
Pic.No.3 It is wonderful thing seeing birds in their natural habitat, even though one of their heads has fallen off
Pic.No.4 The majestic beauty of a fox in full flight is captured by this skillful taxidermist
Pic.No.5. This is a great idea! No pet would ever be wasted if we all turned them all into a chest of drawers (disclaimer: only try this when they are dead)
Pic.No.6 "What? You want to stuff me?"
Pic.No.7 "RARRRRR! I'm SCARY ...... go away .... or I'll throw a pansy at you ..... RARRR!" The raw power of a bear is captured in this photograph
Pic.No.8 Another great idea. After some preliminary examinations, I have calculated that approximately 80% of dead pets could be made into footstools with their feet at funny angles
Pic.No.9 A natural-looking fox jumping out of a very short, hollowed-out tree stump, as is their wont
Pic.No.10 A Polar Bear with a California Smile .....
But my research has made me happen upon a Grand Finale when it comes to dead animals ...
I am not going to post about it now, but if you let me know what you would do with your dead pet, then I might just think about it.... ha ha ha (evil James Bond Baddy Laugh).