You know what I mean .... everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. In the UK we call it 'Sod's Law', although I don't know who Sod is, or why his parent's chose to call him that. Or why he had a law named after him. What I do know, is that I have always fancied having a dog called Sod.
It's because you can talk to strangers and say things like, "that's my little Sod over there." Except that I wouldn't say that to old people here (in my small village), because they think that words like 'sod' and 'bloody' are swearing.
I know that from personal experience, because I once said to my elderly neighbour; "avoid the bloody dobbin in that field over there, because it's got murderous bastard hooves." the minute I said it, I knew I had done wrong. She clasped her hand over her mouth, her eyes widened, and I could almost see the ticker-tape flashing in front of her retina on repeat; ... harlot .....harlot ..... harlot.
That's the countryside for you. It's so .... ummmmm .... genteel. When I lived in London, 'fuck' was a punctuation mark. And no one would have batted an eyelid if I had run around the streets naked. Not that I would mind you, I specifically bought a car so I didn't have to run anywhere.
Bloody hell, I am the queen of digression today. Back to the crap week ..... If you are my friend on Facebook (and if you aren't, why not?!), you will know that things haven't gone to plan, namely:
1. I spilt a litre of milk in my kitchen. And I can safely say that a litre of liquid goes for miles if you drop it in such a way that the plastic bottle explodes (with the liquid going under the cooker, fridge, sideboard and units)
2. I nearly totalled my car when a lorry slammed on the brakes in front of me. In utter horror, I shouted, "I say, Sir! That manoeuvre was terribly dangerous!" ... or words similar to that but maybe containing more 'Fs'.
3. I had an appointment with the Dentist from the film 'Marathon Man'. She managed to stick a pointy probe in every single sensitive, nerve-tingling orifice
Vid.No.1 This was what my Dentist appointment was like .... a bit (thanks to my mate Andy Brierley for the link)
As you can see, the week started out pretty badly. So I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I finally got home yesterday evening.
I was just about to go inside and relax, when I happened to notice that I had a properly flat tyre on my car. Sacre bleu (mark 2) - had I been bad in a previous life?
So instead of chilling out at home, I had to make a mad dash to the Wheatley Tyre Centre, (I had to put a link in because they are so bloody friendly), where they concluded that the whole tyre was completely knackered because I had driven on it whilst flat. Sacre bleu to the power ten!
Pic.No.1 As you can see, my front tyre has been replaced with spare tyre .... and it is ugly
So dahlink, have you had any challenges this week? And what have you been up to?
I have been battling technology and pulling my hair out in the process. Why can't anything be simple? Trying to set up a google account can be like pulling teeth (sorry!). Facebook is next, but how much grief can a person be expected to take in one week?
ReplyDeleteI've been working. Nights. In Plymouth. It's dire.
ReplyDeleteAnd to cap it off, I noticed today that some git has dented my car whilst it was parked in the Premier Inn car park. Never mind the Good Night Guarantee, I want a Safe Parking Guarantee!
Bastards!
You are funny you muppetxx
ReplyDeleteI don't know, City types "expressing themselves" all over the countryside! If you want local language try this: Sveiki, mano vardas yra Karolina ir aš esu iš Lietuva. Which means in my best Google translation: "Hello, my name is Karolina and I am from Lithuania". Not that any Karolina has said that to me.......not in the real world anyway!
ReplyDeleteHa ha! That reminds me of that story of the pope visiting some bishop in Ireland and they went for a rather tense meal. The pope had been told by his translator what to ask for if he wanted his meat rare.
ReplyDelete'I'll have a 'bloody' steak,' he said to the waiter. The bishop visibly relaxed and added: 'And plenty of f***ing chips!'
Sorry you had a bad week - you need a holiday... oh, wait, no - that's me!
I hope it's just the tyre and not the wheel you've buggered. A new wheel for your bitchin' pimpmobile is going to set you back a few nicker.
ReplyDeleteYou must live in the posh bit of the countryside. Across here in the plebian out reaches of Worcestershire cussing is encouraged, and indeed, almost obligatory. The vicar and I often greet each other with a cheery "Alright twat" as we pass in the morning.
LOL - that is brilliant, 'alright twat'! I think my wheel should be ok. I had to drive on it when it was really flat because there was no other way of getting to the Tyre Centre.
ReplyDeleteI'll find out in half an hour cos I've got to go back for the new tyre ;-)
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ha ha ha ha! That is a brilliant story about the Bishop and Pope! So, are you thinking of going on hols then?
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You daft git! that is well funny. We have quite a few Eastern Europeans here too ..... they are employed by all the farmers in the area. But I'm not sure where they live, it's definitely not in the village.
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Why thank you!
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You are like Alan Partridge you are!
ReplyDeleteWorking nights AND some bastard dented your car. Yep, you are having a crap week!
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Gawd, you have my sympathy. Google websites can be totally counter intuitive.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to seeing you on facebook!
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OK! So since when do we English-speaking peoples spell 'tire' with a 'y'? That is almost worse than swearing!!! lol
ReplyDeleteOh yes, one of THOSE weeks! I am beginning to realize that you are a 'tough broad' and can handle anything, right?
Oh a photo of that elderly neighbour listening to your choice words!!
Other than Ron, no real challenges this week!! lol
I've been fighting procedures at work all week which aren't quite right so I've a tad less hair than I did at the start, but nothing I can't cope with....Try the word feck it sounds good and isn't swearing. My dad always used it being a strong devout Irish Catholic so it was OK...Just hope that the flashy wheels aren't damaged for your purse sake......
ReplyDeleteEvery week is a challenge here!!!
ReplyDeleteI mean on Wednesday the iPad battery was flat, I mean what is the world coming too!!!!!!
I know what you mean about milk going everywhere, many years ago the wife and I took her brother into a Little Chef, he had a milk shake what was like paste, until he knowcked it over then it flowed like milk all over the floor. Shame they had just had a refit including a new carpet and had only been open 15 minutes. Before you ask no we never have been back!!
Bloody hell Robert, your iPad battery went flat. I thought my week was bad, but that would have sent me into a tailspin! Loved the story about the Little Chef ...... god that place is rank ;-)
ReplyDeleteUGH ....... fighting procedures ........ I hate that. No wonder your hair is falling out. I love the word 'feck' and have resolved to use it more in conversation! Thank god, I had the tyre changed and the rims weren't damaged. Phew.
ReplyDeleteLOL, you heathen! Tyre must have a 'y'. Surely Shakespeare wrote it that way *wink*. Yep, I am a tough broad. I had to laugh about what you said about Ron - I'm guessing you think he might not read your comment ;-) hehehehe
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