Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Moving house? Call me... my superhero power is moveinating!

Look at me! I've been blog AWOL for quite a few days recently. It's all pretty legit, and markedly unsinister. Firstly, I had a couple of friends come over for a long weekend, and then yesterday and today I have been up North (it's grim up there) in Loughborough. I got roped into helping my cousin Jane move house. Ring a bell? Oh yeh, that's cos I helped her move house not three months ago. But after being in situ for a couple of weeks, she decided she didn't like it. A bit like a t-shirt that doesn't fit, except that houses are harder to exchange.

She is 28 weeks pregnant, so I put her penchant for house-hopping down to an OCD type of nesting behaviour [note to Jane; I am of course only teasing you babe!].

So from Sunday afternoon onwards, it pretty much went like this:

5pm Sunday 31st. I arrive at Jane's house. Jane announces that she had finished packing all the boxes, and that we couldn't progress the house move any further until the van arrived in the morning. We decided to go to the pub to do some Karaoke.

7pm Sunday 31st. Jane's brother, Russell (also my cousin - obviously), arrived to help with the move. He too was directed to the pub to do some Karaoke.

Pic.No.1. In the pub. Russell is the one that looks like the murderer and Jane is the OCD house-hopper

8pm Sunday 31st. The beer flows and the Karaoke shenanigans begin. Russell is first up and belts out a Spandau Ballet classic, 'Gold'. For the rest of the evening, Russell and Jane take it in turns to sing various pop tunes, whilst I resolutely remained a Karaoke coward. It was a great night out and it seemed to whizz by.

Pic.No.2. By 10pm we had consumed a lot of beer and my camera seemed to malfunction making Russell look all wobbly and out-of-focus whilst he was singing

1.30am Monday 1st. We got back home and decided that we had better retire because we had an early start. I slept on the floor of the guest room like a feral dog.

8am Monday 1st. The van arrived but no one was awake. Throughout the house, all that could be heard was the sound of everyone simultaneously cursing. The loudest curse was Russell shouting, "my bastard head is killing me."

8.30am Monday 1st. The entire morning was spent moving the contents of this house.........

Into the back of this van...........

1pm Monday 1st. Then, the entire afternoon was spent moving the contents from the back of the van, into this house................

Pic.No.5. Jane's new house. I forgot to take a picture of it, so I nicked this picture from the internet. It's not the same house but it looks pretty similar and is on the same road

5pm Monday 1st. After a day of hard labour, Russell was dropped off at the train station because he had to get home in time to look after his son.

6pm Monday 1st. Jane couldn't decide where she wanted to position her sofa in the new house. So she made me and her partner, Martin, move it four times. And let me tell you, the sofa was an extremely big and heavy corner sofa and it was bloody hard work, and everyone knows how I detest hard work. We tried to be patient because she is pregnant, but then we threatened to smash the sofa to bits with a sledge hammer if she tried to make us move it again. Jane said that we didn't appreciate her 'vision'.

8pm Monday 1st. Jane disappeared and we couldn't find her, and for a while we were secretly glad because it meant she couldn't make us move the sofa again. But then we got a bit worried. Luckily our fears were unfounded because Jane reappeared with a Fish and Chip supper for everyone! Huzzar!

11.30pm Monday 1st. We finally finished unpacking the lounge and kitchen, and had got the beds made up. We sat down in the lounge and relaxed for the first time that day. I announced that I was going to do a blog post. 'No you're not,' said Jane, adding 'we've got no wi-fi.' Shit a brick. It was like being a caveman. Except that I was wearing more than a loincloth.

1am Tuesday 2nd. After watching the television set for a while, we all decided that we were tired and decided to go to bed. I was sleeping on a inflatable mattress in a room on the third floor of the house, and it was cool because it had a wicked view and an en-suite bathroom.

7.30am Tuesday 2nd. Workmen arrived and started digging up the road outside Jane's house. It was the pneumatic drill that properly woke me up. I cursed at them under my breath, closed the window and got back into bed and hid under the duvet. I managed to get back to sleep, but then the door to my bedroom opened.

7.45am Tuesday 2nd.  It was Jane. 'I was just coming to see if the drilling noise had woken you up,' she said. I awoke and confirmed that it had.

8am Tuesday 2nd. After all the furniture lifting yesterday, my arms and legs were aching like the heart of a lovestruck teenager. I lay back in bed and relaxed for a ten minute snooze.

11am Tuesday 2nd. Ten minute snooze my arse! I had totally fallen asleep again, only to awake at 11am. Bloody hell; it was nearly lunchtime. I ventured downstairs to find that Jane also still in bed. "What with being pregnant and all, yesterday killed me," she said, before adding, "instead of unpacking the rest of the stuff, why don't we go for lunch?" Now that was a plan.

2pm Tuesday 2nd. We were out. And more importantly, we were in the foodhall of a Shopping Mall in Leicester. I was tucking into a KFC box meal, and Jane was scoffing a prawn salad because she is virtuous like that, and I had totally forgotten that I was on a diet. Arse.

4.30pm Tuesday 2nd.  After an afternoon spent shopping for things for Jane's house (we bought two rugs and a bin), it was time for me to set off back home. So after much hugging and kissing, I jumped into my jalopy and set the Sat Nav for 'Oxford'.

21.55pm Tuesday 2nd. So here I am back at home in Oxford. After two hours of getting things organised again, Izzy is upstairs asleep, my dinner is in the oven and Naughty George is in the back garden woofing vacuously at gusts of wind. Phew..... all I need to do now is try and catch up on everyone else's blogs.

P.S. Sorry if I haven't visited your blog and made comments recently... I promise I am not ignoring you! Big snogs, Annie x


  1. Yep, I just surmised that you'd gotten your knickers in a twist over something I'd said or not said.

    You're a good friend to be so very patient with such a pregnant friend. May I call on you next time I move? I'm not pregnant, but dressed properly I could pass. I'm glad to know that all is well.

  2. your new house? Nice. you look so happy, congratulations, laugh a lot, because you smile, you are beautiful


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