Monday, 10 February 2014

It's a slow news week in Oxford .... don't read this .... read the next one

Crikey, I don't how you are faring, but it's been colder than duck's chuff here in Oxford. I've been huddled in the dining room with the heating on, trying to keep warm by swigging tea from the mugs that my cousin Jane, bought me for Christmas.

Pic.No.1 Look. These are my new mugs

Jane generally has impeccable taste. 

Except for the time when she made me wear false eyelashes and I had to go out looking like a German hooker. Or when she painted my nails with black varnish so I looked like I'd just returned from a stint on an oil rig. Oh, and then there was that time that she insisted on 'back-combing' my hair, and I resembled someone who had had an electric shock in a wind-tunnel. 

Blimey. That's without forgetting her suggestion that I wear a mini-skirt, only to look like a Russian shot-putter. She might be a git.

 Pic.No.2. This is what I look like with back-combed hair. Yes I'm pleased to see you

Oooh! Dahlink! I digress. Before I go off on a tangent with more ramblings, I wanted to introduce another cool present that I received for Christmas. Without further ado, may I introduce ........

Pic.No.3 My plastic squirrel eating a nut. He's called Barry


Barry is well handy. Actually, I can't back that up. I have stared at him for weeks wondering what to do with him -and the only thing he is good at is gazing into the middle-distance without moving.

video
Vid.No.1 I did an animation of Barry jumping into a tupperware container to try and make him useful

As you can probably tell, it's been a bit of a slow-news-week here in Oxford. But that's not to say that nothing has happened. No sirree.

Give me a slow week, and I'll make you an omelette.

Ok, maybe it doesn't sound that spectacular, but given my culinary skills, it's the equivalent of scaling Mont Blanc (which I have actually done ..... except that when I did it, I used a cable car to avoid having to deal with those barbaric ropes, pick-axes and dangly clip things). Hanging off cliff faces with a 2000ft drop is so 80s dahlink.

Anyway, back to my omelette and the desolate wasteland that is my kitchen. The omelette initially looked quite good. I had mixed up three eggs, some raw bacon, and then I had thrown in some cheese. I cooked the mixture for 30 minutes in a frying pan. But then I realised that the eggs looked a bit black and carbon-y, and the bacon was still anaemic. Necessity dictated that I pick out all the raw bacon from the congealed egg and fry it in a separate pan before re-adding it to the omelette.

But, you'll be pleased to know that after all that faff, (you know - scraping off all the black bits), I had a feast fit for a king .......

Pic.No.4 My omelette - Please feel free to share this recipe with your friends

Even though it was a successful experiment, that's the last time I do cooking, I tell you. It's a mug's game. You spend ages doing it, and then it ends up looking like something that Jackson Pollock would knock out. It's why home delivery was invented.

So dahlink, that's it for me. Next week is looking quite exciting .... I am taking FOUR girls (all under 14) away on holiday during the school break. Updates coming later ......

14 comments:

  1. bodaciousboomer10 February 2014 22:28

    You made scrambled eggs!


    BTW- Good thing you put the kibosh on the whole back-combing thing. It was a tad scary.

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  2. Blimey BB, what is a kibosh?!

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  3. bodaciousboomer11 February 2014 02:24

    Kibosh--put a stop to something

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  4. If only I could remember my Disquis log in. Instead I will just say, good luck with all those hormonal girls.

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  5. Crikey, thanks Mrs T. It should be ..... interesting. Hope you are feeling better.

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  6. A plastic squirrel is a 'cool' Christmas present?
    My, but you're easily pleased... for a m'lady.

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  7. I sense some squirrel envy going on here ;-)

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  8. What? English don't use the word kibosh? Blimey

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  9. As plastic squirrels go, I'd say he is rather a talented one. I don't own any plastic items that can do face plants into other plastic items. Just a quick question...do all the people that buy you gifts secretly hate you. Just wondering.

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  10. Sometimes I have a lot of envy for your life style - Barry the Boffin squirrel, the nonchalant hair style and cordon bleu chef. Wow!!!!

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  11. You should write your own recipe book. I can just see it. Step 3: pick out the raw bacon from the congealed egg....

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  12. chickens consigliere24 February 2014 04:57

    Good looking and you can cook! Barry the Squirrel doesn't know how good he has it, does he. Just sits there all silent and brooding, chewing on his nut.

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