Bloody nora. I should really apologise for the (in)frequency of my blog posts lately. Since the upheaval of moving house before Christmas, carnage has ensued in the form of work, childcare and travel - amongst other things. I've been busier than Paris Hilton's mattress.
But hell, I miss writing my blog like crazy, so today I pointed at myself in the mirror and said: "enough is enough girl. Today you are going to do some fun stuff, and it's going to be collecting pictures of comedy dead animals. By the way, have I mentioned how bally good looking you are?"
So my afternoon was sorted. It was going to be dead-animal-tastic.
On a related note, do you know that when you do searches on the internet, Google monitors what you are looking for, and adapts future results accordingly? Suffice to say that if I type 'squirrel' into Google, I am met with a plethora of dead squirrel images. That's why Google is good. It doesn't bother me with loads of images of alive squirrels happily chomping on nuts.
Without further ado, please let me introduce my selection of comedy dead animals .......... it is worth noting that squirrels seem to be a VERY popular choice when it comes to taxidermy. I'm glad I'm not a squirrel, but sometimes I kind of wish that Naughty George was.
But hell, I miss writing my blog like crazy, so today I pointed at myself in the mirror and said: "enough is enough girl. Today you are going to do some fun stuff, and it's going to be collecting pictures of comedy dead animals. By the way, have I mentioned how bally good looking you are?"
So my afternoon was sorted. It was going to be dead-animal-tastic.
On a related note, do you know that when you do searches on the internet, Google monitors what you are looking for, and adapts future results accordingly? Suffice to say that if I type 'squirrel' into Google, I am met with a plethora of dead squirrel images. That's why Google is good. It doesn't bother me with loads of images of alive squirrels happily chomping on nuts.
Without further ado, please let me introduce my selection of comedy dead animals .......... it is worth noting that squirrels seem to be a VERY popular choice when it comes to taxidermy. I'm glad I'm not a squirrel, but sometimes I kind of wish that Naughty George was.
Pic.No.1 Gordon Bennett, why on earth would you want this on a shelf in your living room?
Pic.No.2 I like the way these Raccoons have been captured in their natural habitat. The comedy dead pheasant peering in to the right of the photograph is good too
Pic.No.3 What the .........? Who did this? I don't want to go anywhere near their latent psychological variables
Pic.No.4 Hey, yeah! That's gonna look great on my kitchen wall .......
Pic.No.5 The majesty of this beautiful animal has been perfectly captured. It's the hat (fruit bowl?) and sandals that do it
Pic.No.6 Awwwwww. What a wonderful way to honour a beloved family pet
Pic.No.7 Is it me? What's with the glassy-eyed duck?
Pic.No.8 Hello Sailor
Pic.No.9 Do you think someone actually said, "my work here is done"?
Pic.No.10 This is amazing. An attractive yet functional use for a dead pet. I think it is ingenious the way the scroll button has been incorporated into the hamster's neck. And it's front paws are the buttons
So dahlink, I have a million and one things to discuss with you. I shall try and pull my finger out and do more blog posts ..... rest assured I miss you ;-)
Have to dash, Naughty George has just pissed up the side of my fridge. Then he leisurely sauntered back to his basket, farted (it felt like the whole house was filled with tear-gas) and went back to sleep. Total git.
Annie, I love you. I tend to just peek in now and again to see what you're up to and don't say much (I'm such a lurker....). But you just made me laugh out loud repeatedly with this one. :-)
ReplyDeletePlease tell me that when NG finally goes to piss up the side of the great white fridges in the sky, you'll have him stuffed in a comedy pose and then stick him in the corner, wearing a hat and sandals.
ReplyDeleteYour bizarre penchant for all things stuffed reminded me of Opossum World in Napier, NZ - a gloriously and wonderfully amatuerish homage to all things possum - creatures which are viewed as vermin in NZ and treated accordingly which goes someway to explain Willie Nelson singing 'On the Road Again' at the roadkill display (Obviously not in person, merely a recording, but it sufficed). Sue x
ReplyDeleteBrilliant....I too would love to see NG in a comedy pose. Bless him...is it called character?
ReplyDeleteMy old dog doesn't bother going to the fridge..just anywhere will do!!
ReplyDeleteDahlink! I missed you. I'll fire again. Ha hah!
ReplyDeleteLove these - especially the hamster mouse. Someone should manufacture them. Objects named after animals shaped like those animals. Apart from rabbits. Obviously.
Hello Bev! Why thank you very much for unlurking and leaving a comment - it is much appreciated! Glad you liked it - I love doing my taxidermy posts, it keeps me amused for hours doing the research ;-)
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God yeh, I am going to have him stuffed and mount him on a trolley so that I can still take him for drags around Forest Hill!
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LOL - that is well funny! The roadkill display with a 'on the road' soundtrack. That place sounds like something I should definitely be adding to my bucket list - thanks Sue! x
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Am I on the right blog? Work? Quick, pass me a corset, my sides have split! Needs must when you finally drain the Bolly reserves I suppose
ReplyDeleteGawd, you wonder why people bother sometimes.
ReplyDelete(Do you just put up with NG and his disgusting habits?)
Only you would go from how good looking you are to chomping nuts in the space of three paragraphs!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely have this thing about stuffed animals, if I was NG I would sleep with one eye open.
Why thank you Robert. I am generally known for my ability to talk crap! NG is looking a bit nervous lately ;-)
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I know. There are some really strange people out there. Unfortunately there is not much I can do about NG's disgusting habits, short of killing him. I do light joss sticks and scented candles in an attempt to dissipate his general honkiness!
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I know Gumph, I tried work. It was awful, I broke a nail and then gave it up as a bad job. Back to being handfed grapes by a porcupine.
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Awww thank you BB. I've missed catching up on your blog too. It's on my list of things to do this weekend ;-) I think you are right - there would be a mass market for comedy hamster mouses. Ummm ...... now where do I get a large supply of dead fluffy mammals?!
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Blimey, it sounds like a piss-fest round your house ;-) I've taken to locking NG in the kitchen at night because all the surfaces are wipeable. He's gross!
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He's not a character, he's a git! I am having fun planning some comedy poses for when he goes to the big white dog basket in the sky ;-)
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I think that's a question you should open to the floor! ;-)
ReplyDeleteHave barely blogged myself this year - no worries!
Those crazy, nutty, hormonal squirrels. They remind me of me. And. . .I want that mouse/hamster thing. I thought it was brilliant. In a evil random way.
ReplyDeleteThe nutty squirrels remind me of you too! If I come across a dead hamster, I will definitely make it into a mouse for you chick!
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Yes...Dillon is only on a hard floor when we are not around.....but he did stand right in front of me a few nights ago and weed on the carpet...no barking to go out or anything ! He is getting old along with NG..I am still glad to have him though. He sometimes is sent out to " do a wee" and wanders round the patio looking vacant....do I come here often, comes to mind, and why am I here! You have to love them don't you?
ReplyDeletehi Annie i think i need to send you some links to the famous Walter Potter collection of stuffed critters that was sold by the Jamaica Inn Cornwall ,a few years ago unfortunately it was split up despite Damien Hirst putting in a bid for 1 Million.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.google.co.uk/search?q=walter+potter+taxidermy&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=5v&tbo=u&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=-sQNUeHgComT0QWYh4CYCg&ved=0CDIQsAQ&biw=1680&bih=832
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Potter
http://www.ravishingbeasts.com/walter-potter/
That taxidermy was amazing! Not like the moth-eared shit that I write about ;-) They have all been stuffed to scale and everything. I want to know how he happened to have 9 dead kittens to hand for the scene around the table! Thanks for sending me these links Mike.
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/immortalized/weird-taxidermy
ReplyDeleteI found this and thought of you. Enjoy!