I have now been informed that it is all up and running again.
My mate Dave does the fixing ..... he owns the hosting company that I use, and because we have known each other for many years - waaaay before we worked together - he always looks after me with extra special diligence. And for getting yesterday's problem fixed, I might even send him a flapjack as a thank you. The poor bastard.
Anyway, I digress. Back to the matter in hand .........
Do you know when NASA launches space rockets? Why do they always say 'T minus 9 seconds' when they are doing the countdown? What does the T stand for? And why is it needed? It's something that has bugged me for ages. Like, why do you have to dry-clean raincoats?
Suffice to say, I have 'T minus 9 days' until I move house and the pressure is mounting, despite the fact that I try to shrug it off like an errant baked bean on my shoulder.
Even though I don't consider myself to be a hoarder (in fact, I am non-sentimental about disposing of stuff), the main problem was that I still had too many things to fit into my new house, so I needed to jettison loads of crap.
But in doing so, I encountered a real mystery. When I moved into my house, it was totally empty. Every room was a blank canvas.
"That's not a bloody mystery!" I hear you cry.
True. But what IS a mystery, is that during the clear-out process, I have discovered a whole heap of weird objects that I didn't put in there, and I honestly have no idea where they came from (the same happened when I moved from my London house - I found a load of interesting antiques in the attic - which I'm sure was empty when I moved in).
Anyway, because I am like Mother Theresa, but with a better hairdo, I have got some pictures for you .......... starting with the cellar (or basement as you call it in the US) ...........
Pic.No.1 This was the cellar AFTER I had spent a week clearing it out ..... GULP. Not looking good. It's still a European shit mountain
Pic.No.2 I did find a lot of my old stuff that I expected ..... like this oil filled radiator. And I just bunged it all on Fleabay
Pic.No.3 This was also one of mine ...... a tennis racket that I used at University. That's got to have antique value
Pic.No.4 Now we move onto the 'mystery' stuff. Starting with this tiny copper based oil-lamp. Where the blazes did it come from? It is small, but very cute (at 12cm high). Actually scrub that. Oil Lamps are not cute. It's like calling a light-bulb cute. But I'm going to clean it up. And flog it
Pic.No.5 More mystery. This was very interesting. It was a whole stack of old oil paintings ..... I will go through them later and let you know if there was anything of note in there
Pic.No.6 Mysterious-tastic! A vintage metal Guinness ashtray saying 'Guinnless isn't good for you'. I love this. I want to serve mince pies in it at Christmas
Pic.No.7 Mysterious-tastic-tastic! I found this old clay pipe down in the cellar too. It probably dates from Victorian times and has a grape motif on the sides. But where did it hail from?
Pic.No.8 Mysterious-tastic-tastic-tastic. An old 'Imperial' Typewriter. Do you know what, if I knew how to do it, I would rig it up to an iPad for comedy value
Pic.No.9 Mysterious-tastic-tastic-tastic-tastic. I found a bloody AXE in my cellar. WTF? Maybe I could use it to behead pixies ... but then who would collect Izzy's teeth?
But it was not just the cellar that has needed a good clear out ....... I had to comb through all the other rooms looking for things that we won't need in the new house and it's a lot ..................
Pic.No.9 There's lots of little things that I need to sell, like these Laura Ashley cushions
Pic.No.10 And do you remember when I bought this in January? It was one of my new gadgets at the time ..... but now it has to be sold because I have a built-in microwave at the new house. So it's on Fleabay
Pic.No. 11 Huzzar, it's me! I found this fancy hat down in the cellar (and the phone rang just as the auto-pic on my camera went off. DOH). I have worn it all day, pretending to be Lady M of Forest Hill. The Postman was quite surprised: he said "bloody hell, you look a bit glamorous for a Friday morning."
Pic.No.12 GRRRRRRR ..... at the moment, every room is full of shit that needs sorting out. And I have to do it all in a single week. As they say ...... what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger
Wish me luck dahlink!
P.S. Today I called British Telecom and arranged for them to activate my telephone and broadband in the new house. They confirmed that I will get my new broadband equipment on Friday, and that the actual service will be activated on Saturday. If that happens, I will make a kebab out of Naughty George and eat him with some cabbage salad and chilli sauce.
P.P.S. Apparently I will be getting the keys to my new house tomorrow! (Even though I am not supposed to move in until next weekend). But the new landlord thought it would be easier for me if I could move over the period of a week .... and he is right. Awwwww, I love you, Dean (in a non-sexual way).
P.P.P.S. Naughty George has got a habit of sleeping outside of the closed door of the Guest Bedroom. As though he is waiting to get in. It's weird. As though there is someone in there that he wants to get to.
Pic.No.13 Naughty George sleeping outside of the Guest Bedroom
Hopefully the new house will sort that out.