Thursday, 20 September 2012

Chips, Castles, Caravans and Stringy Shit

I really do have to apologise about my tardiness in blogging. I fully intended on finishing the posts about my holiday in Cornwall within a week. But this week has conspired against me - I found out that I need to find somewhere new to live (more about that in a later post), Izzy had problems at school, and Naughty George discovered new and exciting ways to discharge stuff from his body - namely puking a lot of yellow chunks, and crapping what appeared to be long lengths of string with mutt-turd attached.

The stringy turd was freaking me out the most: He would sweat and shake before ejecting it an inch at a time from his rear end, and then it kind of dangled from his butt, swaying in the wind before finally detaching itself. Maybe he'd eaten a ball of string or something?

Suffice to say, I did not envisage my future including weird dog-turd configurations. It was supposed to revolve around me reclining on a sofa, being fed grapes by a sinewy Adonis-type chap. It appeared as though things had gone awry. Anyway, I digress. Back to my tardiness ..............

I tell you now, if I was employing myself to write this blog, I would sack myself immediately. But luckily, because there is only me involved, I decided to be lenient and give myself a second chance. I'm kind like that.

Anyway, back to business. As you will remember, we (me, Izzy, Sarah, and her friend Gary) were snatching a quick week-long holiday in Cornwall before the end of the summer holidays.

Sarah is a History teacher by profession, so she really loves all old shit.

Picture the scene: we were all loafing around in the caravan on the second evening of our vacation, perusing the tourist brochures that had been provided for us. 

"Can we go and visit Tintagel Castle?" Sarah piped up.

Gary and Izzy immediately jumped to their feet and started clapping rapturously. That's Sarah's superhero power - pleasing everyone all of the time (but in a historical rather than a rude way).

In the face of such castle jingoism, I could do nothing but acquiesce.  Not that I minded too much. Hell, castles generally have Knights in suits of armour and there is generally scrapping involved.

And because I am kinder than Mother Theresa, except that I would consider laser surgery on any upper-lip fine lines, I have got some pictures to show you ....................

Pic.No.1 This is the entrance to Tintagel Castle. The castle was built on two dizzingly steep, but separate, headlands facing each other. It cost £5.70 per adult to get in (Izzy was £3.40) - That's $33.2 altogether

Pic.No.2 After paying for our entrance, the path took us down to Tintagel Bay .... suffice to say that in this instance, we had to go down before going up ......

Pic.No.3 (click to enlarge) This perplexed me. Apparently Tintagel Castle was the birthplace of the legendary King Arthur (the bloke who pulled the sword out of the stone). Is it me? But I thought that King Arthur was a mythical figure

Pic.No.4 The path up to the first part of the castle was scandalously steep and narrow ..... but you can't really appreciate it in this photograph

Pic.No.5 This shows it a little better ..... the path was precariously carved into a narrow ledge of rock that was only one person wide in many places. I am not a fan of heights and when I looked over the side, I felt like I was swaying and my stomach flipped

Pic.No.6 Following our ascent, we finally arrived at the castle. I told Sarah that it looked a bit like a pile of rubble and she said that I was a heathen because it was constructed in Medeival times (but to be honest, I was not exactly sure when that was)

Pic.No.7 This is Izzy with Gary. They were posing next to a hole that was used to attack enemies. Obviously they didn't attack enemies WITH the hole, they pointed their weapons through it

Pic.No.8 The gals on holiday (from left; Moi, Izzy, Sarah). Sarah out-lensed me on the camera stakes

Pic.No.9 This was the biggest surviving wall of the castle

Pic.No.10 (click to enlarge) Then suddenly, I happened upon this sign which provided me information about the Medieval times. Apparently, Tintagel Castle was built in AD1230. Bloody hell. It was nearly 800 years old! Not only that, excavations had proven that the site linked back to the Roman invasion in AD 300. That's way older than the oldest cucumber that I have ever had turn to liquid in the back of my fridge

Pic.No.11 This is a view of the castle from above. We had climbed further up the moutain to view other remains of ancient settlements that were scattered around the area. I know it was all a bit rubbley, but I have to admit, I was well impressed given the age of the site

Pic.No.12 Remember I said that the castle spanned over two headlands? Well, in this picture I was stood on one, and was looking out towards the second castle. There was an enormous gorge between them (which is hard to make out), but the second castle is the bright green bit in the centre of the picture that looks like a Fly Swat with a wobbly handle

Vid.No.1 I thought you might like a video of Tintagel Bay and castle

Pic.No.13 And finally the sun came out ..... and I was able to take a picture of Tintagel in all it's glory

Pic.No.14 This picture is better because it's got me in it. I was squinting ferociously because I couldn't find my sunglasses. After reviewing this photo, I realised that they were on my head

Pic.No.15 After descending the mountain, we walked through Tintagel village and I spotted this cottage with a really wobbly roof

But enough of Tintagel and it's waist-high castles.

I like eating - a lot (as long as I am not cooking it). And immdiately after Sarah had suggested visiting Tintagel Castle, I had consulted a map and noticed that it was perilously close to a town called Padstow.

And handily enough, Padstow was famous for it's gourmet cuisine, provided by one Rick Stein (in case you live in the US, he is a bit like Gordon Ramsay, except he doesn't shout "Fuck" so much). 

After I pointed out Padstow's proximity to Tintagel Castle, and the possibility of some gourmet nosh, Sarah and Gary jumped up and applauded.

Hurrah! I was now the popular kid in school. Except for the fact that Izzy pointed out that she wanted chicken nuggets. But it was easy to ignore her though because she was small and easily over-powered.

And so we headed to Padstow ........

Pic.No.16 Padstow was a super-pretty harbour village with lots of yachts being taken for a walk by yellow balls

Pic.No.17 See that little inflatable red thing? That's like my best yacht, that is

Pic.No.18 This was another view of Padstow harbour. What the blazes was that chap up to in the bottom right? 

Pic.No.19 This is a picture of Padstow Bay beyond the harbour

Pic.No.20 Then we all decided that we were hungry and wanted our Rick Stein fish and chips .... so we looked high and low down the higgeldy-piggeldy backstreets of Padstow

Pic.No.21 We found Rick Stein's cafe, but still, it wasn't his fish and chip shop (he has three eateries in Padstow) ...... so we asked a local resident who gave us directions to a bay just outside of the Padstow village

Pic.No.22 We finally found it! Rick Stein's fish and chip shop. I was surprised that the building looked a little weather beaten ... but hey, look at the queues waiting to get in (arse). And there was even a couple of A-Team vans parked outside (one even had a ramp so that you could ride your scooter in)

Pic.No.23 The holy grail..... nom nom nom .....

Pic.No.24 This is the fish. It was served with a bit of leaf on it (not sure what - probably ivy or something), so that it looked arty

So was our anticipation of eating Rick Stein's fish and chips worthwhile?

Well, I gave it an 8.5 out 10
Gary gave it 9 out of 10
Sarah gave it 7 out of ten (because when she was a student she had worked at a chippy in Leeds)

But the biggy was that it cost over £50.00 ($81.00).

For a takeaway meal. For three and a half people.

That we ate in the back of the bling machine.

Crikey O'Reilly. That was a tad steep in my book.

Never mind me anyway ...... how the devil are you getting on now that the school holiday's are over? And has anything exciting happened this week?


  1. We ate our Fish n Chips outside his takeaway yonks back now and the man himself came sauntering along in a very posey way being filmed by a Japanese film crew!

  2. First off, I wouldn't worry too much about NG. We had a dachshund that had a thing for new bedspreads. Every time we got a new one he ate a hole in it. We found plaid poop, paisley poop, etc. You never knew what you were going to find. Anyway, as long as he still seems to be able to go, all should be OK.

    As far as those stairs go, the only way I'd have a go at them is with a sherpa.

  3. OK, that fish looked delish! My mouth is quivering now

    Not sure I would be able to walk the stairs to the castle. My fear of heights and falling may have immobilised me. Beautiful scenery, though.

    Hopefully NG is well soon. And, why do you need to find a new place to live? Starting your blog like that and then leaving me hanging is not good for my heart, my dear.

  4. WORMS! I saw Tintagel castle once, from a rainy hillock on the mainland. Was a bit wet and windy, so didn't go in. As for fifty squids for fish & chips for four, not for me. I'll stick to my local chippy, I can get five nights worth for that! As for exciting stuff..... my kids are both in "Miss Saigon - school edition" this week. Less sexy stuff, less swearing and maybe a little less bullets and guns but the Huey coming down from the theatre roof makes a good special effect! And I'm gonna get the biggest overdraft as I buy up all the Olympic tat from the auction sites!

  5. I fair nearly shat myself going over that bridge, not good for those fearful of heights. It's no wonder Rick looks smug all the time, he must wipe his arse on tenners if he charges that much for fish and chips! Intrigued to hear more of your move, as long as it's for good reasons and not that Interpol have finally caught up. Laters.

  6. I managed that walk many years ago but I can't do heights anymore.

    That was a steep bill for the fish and chips, did it have caviare inside?
    Dogs are disgusting aren't they?
    Why have you to move house? You've not been there long have you?

  7. WilloughbytheBeddows21 September 2012 at 17:00

    Crikey that castle looks ace - eat crow machu pichu (or is it Mogadishu, I never remember?). With regard to the thorny issue of dog movements, I had a friend whose dog ate an entire washing line which took several days to pass. Let's just say that he didn't need a lead during that time.

  8. It wasn't the best castle. It was a bit rubbley, but the views were fab! Shit, imagine taking your dog for a walk with a washing line dangling out of it's butt! That would ruin one's street cred!


  9. Ah you've been to Tintagel?! Did you like it? You know what, it is funny, but I am the same as you. My fear of heights has got worse the older I am. What the hek is that all about then?

    The fish and chips were a designer label which is why they were so bloody expensive. Good though. And I agree. Dogs are minging!

    I will do a post on the moving house thing ... it's a pain the butt at this point in time. ARGH!


  10. Hello dahlink! So you have been to Tintagel too? Flippin' hek, I totally agree, if you don't like heights, it isn't the best touristy destination in the world.

    I reckon Rick Stein is minted. Let's just say that he serves one group of people every two minutes. And he charges £50 for each group (that is being conservative because there were people in front spending much more). That means he makes £1500 an hour. Or £12,000 for an eight-hour day.

    Shit a brick. We need to tax the bastard out of Britain! He's obviously evil.


  11. Worms? LOL - what's that all about you daft git?! Do you want to know an interesting fact? So far, everyone who had read this post has been to (or near) Tintagel castle. So what's this about Miss Saigon? It sounds fab ..... do we get the honour of a blog post from you on the subject? Shame they have skimped on the bullets and guns .... that's my favourite bit ;-)

    But you buying Olympic stuff has got me REALLY intrigued ...... what exactly are you buying?!


  12. Hello you! Ummmm, yeh, the fish was delish. But aren't you a bit of a gourmet too?

    It was lovely scenery, but not the best if you don't like heights. I don't much, so I had to hang on the hand rails.

    Flippin' hek, the moving house thing ..... what a nightmare. I am just getting my head round it and when I do, I shall bung in a blog post.

    How is your house by the way? You did a build-your-own didn't you? Is everything all sorted after the headaches? Laters ......


  13. LOL! You always make me laugh, you daft git! Paisley plop indeed!

    Oh yeh, NG can definitely still go. It's just that when he does, that stringy shit doubles his body length.

    I'll be your sherpa if you ever come to the UK ;-)


  14. We could form a splinter group! Did you throw your keks at him?! The bastard wasn't there when we bought ours.

    What did you think of them? (score out of ten)


  15. Crikey O'Reilly!!! Love it! Will use it too.
    Now to the 'stringy dog turds.....does NG eat grass, a lot? Sophie does and if we don't stop her she will and has had turds that only 'get out' partway!! We have to do the rest FOR HER!! Grosses me out! One day I kept pulling and pulling! The day before she had a MAJOR feed of tough long grass. There you go, I just told you about Sophie's bowel movements! lol
    The people across the yard from us lived in Cornwall for a number of years....he was a sub-mariner for the Royal Navy. After looking at these pics Annie, which are great by the way, I wonder why the heck they live here in almost northern Canada!! Actually I do know why....their daughter lived here and they moved over.....then daughter moved to France!!
    I would visit this castle in a flash....I'm with Sarah on this one.
    Pretty pricey fish and does however look like you each got a whole fish!

  16. Fun pics! As for the exploding doggie, ooh, ugh, I hope Naughty George is feeling better!

    I am not a huge fish-and-chips fan, but that seems like a huge amount of money for takeout fried food.

    I would visit this place... looks amazing!

  17. A Miss Saigon blog, maybe, not allowed to take pics and my word skills aren't that great though to describe shows. As for Olympic tat, the London 2012 Auction site has stuff more collectable like volleyballs and shuttlecocks (?), you can even register it as used in whatever event. Remains of the Games is selling all the stuff out of the village, beds, chairs, lamps etc. I'm so tempted to get purple cushions, a purple umbrella and one of those tape barrier things, just 'cos it says London 2012 along the tape!

  18. Excuse me...Jim has no respect for Sophie's bowel movements...danglers are so embarassing especially when you are the one who's yanking for dear life just as a group of prissy whatever's come walking around the corner....just look up and give them an sweet slightly awkward dog owner smile and continue on with the removal....such is the life of a dog owner. I do it with swift abandon now.
    Now for the castles and fish....oh yes.....what a beautiful part of your world you've shown us Annie....and I laughed at the yellow ball comment in picture #16....heck I was laughing through the whole story...Cheers!

  19. I love the look of your Greek food. I love Greek food.

    I'll follow you if you follow me ;-)


  20. Man alive Ron, I have just got this image in my head of you heaving bits of debris out of Sophies .... derriere! If I was the one coming round the corner, I would be laughing my bloody head off ;-) In fact, I laughed my head off at you describing it .....!

    Cornwall is nice .... but not as dramatic as Canada. I hope you visit the UK one day, so I can take you guys on a tour and you can teach me how to use a camera! That would be great wouldn't it?


  21. Thems are some expensive chish and fips!
    Tintangel looks lovely. Never been but would love to go.
    You seem to becoming my peripatetic travel agent - visiting all the places that suggest they might be of interest to me!
    As for NG's bum, I think we can safely assume it's not a hair-rope he's ejecting there! ;)

  22. Hey, I like the thought of being your peripatetic travel agent ..... I just went to the mirror and viewed myself in a different light ;-) We've got a deal going on here - I do the travel, and you do the gadgets and funnies!!


  23. Fifty quid for some fish and chips? That sure is a lot of money. Did they come with a free holiday thrown in? I do hope so.

  24. I know, I nearly fainted. But they are Rick Stein fish and chips Dahlink. And they were exceedingly scrummy. And the curry sauce .... what can I say, it wasn't your usual 'make with hot water and powder' type crap! How were your hols in Brum?


  25. Had a great time Annie, thanks, though it was over far too quickly and we didn't get done half of what we intended.

  26. I know, it was a bit hard to stomach. I am taking him to the vets this afternoon for a check up!

  27. Oh no Jim, so you have turd issues too? You have to actually pull it out? Woah, thank crikey I haven't had my breakfast! Its' a small world isn't it - the people opposite living in Cornwall. I can understand why they would want to live in Canada after seeing your pics though ;-)


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