It's terrible. I've been avoiding the fact that my camera's SD card is full, and my blog has tumbleweed in it, by singing really loudly to myself. I can't remember where I got that particular idea from, but it doesn't work.
Anyway, you will never berluddy believe it ...... I woke up on Monday this week, drew back the curtains and immediately gasped, "what the blazes is that yellow blob in the sky?"
Yep. The bloody sun was out. And it stayed out for quite a few glorious days.
Which meant that every day after school, I could boot Izzy out into the garden to play in the fresh air, whilst I stayed inside surfing 'funny dog videos', on youtube.
On one of those days, I realised that she had gone quiet for quite a long time after booting her out. Not a good sign from a child who can talk without hesitation, deviation or repitition for 15 hours and 43 minutes. I ventured into the garden to find her crouched over the tap on one of the water butts.
"What are you up to, you scamp?" I bellowed. I like bellowing I do, although I get a double chin when I do it.
So engrossed was Izzy, that she hadn't seen me approach, and subsequently keeled over backwards with shock.
After recovering her poise, she grinned and said, "I have invented a shower for plastic ducks," she said.
Pic.No.2 She had cleverly attached the nozzle from a watering can onto the tap of the water butt, thus enabling her two ducks (one yellow, one grey) to have a shower
Blimey, I couldn't think of a single person whose invention had cut to the quick of the nation's collective needs, as incisively as Izzy's had. She was like bloody Clive Sinclair and his C5.
"That's amazing, Iz," I said, "you have definitely identified an niche market."
Izzy looked back at me with her happy gappy grin (how long have I got to wait before her teeth grow back? It's a bit like the latter stages of a Jenga tournament in there at the moment).
It wasn't just Izzy who was getting all lively with the sunshine, it was my cousin Jane too. I reckon that vitamin D makes people frisky. But I find it can be a bit disconcerting when I have to take my wellies off too often.
Jane texted me last Saturday to inform me that she was coming to visit me in Oxford, and that we were going to have a 'night out'.
She duly arrived, caked me in make-up, made me take my wellies off and then ...... shock, horror ...... dressed me in 'lady clothes' which normally go against my general clothing mantra; whatever I wear, I must be able to run in it.
As if that wasn't enough, she insisted on taking photos for you to look at (she is kinder than Mother Theresa but her skin has a better surface finish).
Here goes ..... [sigh] ...................
Pic.No.3 This was me trying to look sultry. But I ended up looking like I had dislocated my shoulder
Pic.No.4 It's me and my cousin ...... I can't remember what look I was trying to pull off with that particular lip configuration
Pic.No. 5 Cousin Jane has always been blessed with a roman nose and feline eyes, but she finds cider more interesting
Pic.No.6 This is my eye. But I like the other eyebrow better. I can't remember when I started noticing and judging eyebrow configurations
We hit the pubs in the village of Wheatley, and suffice to say, that with a population of 347, it wasn't the most exciting of nights out. Why didn't I see that one coming? But hey, me and cous can have a laugh anywhere ........ that's family.
So dahlink, what on earth are you up to this weekend? It is the Queen's Diamond Jubilee weekend here in the UK. So we have a weekend + 2 days bank holiday = FUN!
P.S. I found a heart-shaped potato in my kitchen. What on earth do you think it means?