Friday, 1 June 2012

Inventions and Eyebrows ..... and Posing

You know those ants that spend all day carrying leaves twice their size, back and forth?  That's how busy I've been. In fact, a word that I made up a while ago - blirony (where you are so busy that you don't have time to blog about it) - is a applicable here. It can be a downward spiral if you don't have the mettle of a hippopotamus (allegedly one of the most aggressive creatures on earth. I've been reading about them).

It's terrible. I've been avoiding the fact that my camera's SD card is full, and my blog has tumbleweed in it, by singing really loudly to myself.  I can't remember where I got that particular idea from, but it doesn't work. 

Anyway, you will never berluddy believe it ...... I woke up on Monday this week, drew back the curtains and immediately gasped, "what the blazes is that yellow blob in the sky?"

Yep. The bloody sun was out. And it stayed out for quite a few glorious days.

Which meant that every day after school, I could boot Izzy out into the garden to play in the fresh air, whilst I stayed inside surfing 'funny dog videos', on youtube.

On one of those days, I realised that she had gone quiet for quite a long time after booting her out. Not a good sign from a child who can talk without hesitation, deviation or repitition for 15 hours and 43 minutes. I ventured into the garden to find her crouched over the tap on one of the water butts.

"What are you up to, you scamp?" I bellowed. I like bellowing I do, although I get a double chin when I do it. 

So engrossed was Izzy, that she hadn't seen me approach, and subsequently keeled over backwards with shock.

After recovering her poise, she grinned and said, "I have invented a shower for plastic ducks," she said.

Pic.No.1 Izzy standing next to the water butt, which formed the basis of her invention

Pic.No.2 She had cleverly attached the nozzle from a watering can onto the tap of the water butt, thus enabling her two ducks (one yellow, one grey) to have a shower

Blimey, I couldn't think of a single person whose invention had cut to the quick of the nation's collective needs, as incisively as Izzy's had. She was like bloody Clive Sinclair and his C5.

"That's amazing, Iz," I said, "you have definitely identified an niche market."

Izzy looked back at me with her happy gappy grin (how long have I got to wait before her teeth grow back? It's a bit like the latter stages of a Jenga tournament in there at the moment).
_______________________________________

It wasn't just Izzy who was getting all lively with the sunshine, it was my cousin Jane too. I reckon that vitamin D makes people frisky. But I find it can be a bit disconcerting when I have to take my wellies off too often.

Jane texted me last Saturday to inform me that she was coming to visit me in Oxford, and that we were going to have a 'night out'. 

She duly arrived, caked me in make-up, made me take my wellies off and then ...... shock, horror ...... dressed me in 'lady clothes' which normally go against my general clothing mantra; whatever I wear, I must be able to run in it.

As if that wasn't enough, she insisted on taking photos for you to look at (she is kinder than Mother Theresa but her skin has a better surface finish).

Here goes ..... [sigh] ...................

Pic.No.3 This was me trying to look sultry. But I ended up looking like I had dislocated my shoulder

Pic.No.4 It's me and my cousin ...... I can't remember what look I was trying to pull off with that particular lip configuration

Pic.No. 5 Cousin Jane has always been blessed with a roman nose and feline eyes, but she finds cider more interesting

Pic.No.6 This is my eye. But I like the other eyebrow better. I can't remember when I started noticing and judging eyebrow configurations

We hit the pubs in the village of Wheatley, and suffice to say, that with a population of 347, it wasn't the most exciting of nights out. Why didn't I see that one coming? But hey, me and cous can have a laugh anywhere ........ that's family.

So dahlink, what on earth are you up to this weekend? It is the Queen's Diamond Jubilee weekend here in the UK. So we have a weekend + 2 days bank holiday = FUN!

KERCHING!

P.S. I found a heart-shaped potato in my kitchen. What on earth do you think it means?



39 comments:

  1. All I can say is that you scrub up well!!!

    As for the spud, I think it points to the fact you have far too much time on your hands.

    Weekend will be as normal even with the bank holiday, 4 days playing trains!!!

    Have a good Bank Holiday whatever you end up doing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You look great in those pics!  I absolutely LOVE the first one of Izzy tho.  She looks so pleased with herself.  Smart kid.  :)  I left my blog for awhile too.  Trying not to think about how long...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Could do with a new shower, but I think we need more headroom! Mr Potato head is obviously lying on the kitchen table, body ripped open in some fiendish experiment..ha ha ha ha ha! Or have I been watching too many films?  Eurovision and now the Jubilee.... too much excitement for me!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL, you have definitely been watching too many films! Enjoy the jubilee - are you doing anything special?



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  5. Why thank you very much! Don't worry too much about your blog - I think the silly season hits about this time of year and the time just disappears!!


    _____

    ReplyDelete
  6. Errrr ..... thanks, I think!!



    4 days of playing trains - sounds bloody fantastic. You'll be in your element!



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a fabulous invention! Izzy will make millions! :) Now, my question for you is: Where are your body guards? Because I'm certain you were fighting off your adoring fans all night! 

    ReplyDelete
  8. That Izzy is one creative gal. I can hear plastic ducks rejoicing all over the world. Love the shots of you and cousin Jane getting ready for a night on the town. And the heart shaped potato? Maybe it means the love of your life is on the way...or else you should start a specialty potato shop. It could be a huge money maker...like that truffle fetish. Keep your eyes open for an image of Jesus on a heart shaped potato because that usually comes next! 

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes, hurray for Izzy's supersonic duck shower!! I am intrigued about your theory that I will find love because of that potato ;-) Who'd have thought that a spud was the key to my future?!! Have a great weekend Annie



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  10. Such cute pictures of you, Izzy and Jane.   That Izzy  is a clever one.


    Sounds like a win-win over there....extra days off and sunshine.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You hit the pubs in Wheatley....did you warn them that you were coming and that yo were about to double their customer numbers?

    The heart shaped potatoe - I think it means your chips are going to be weirdly shaped!!

    Have a good Jubilee weekend, you and the clever little inventor, has she patented the idea yet or should I jump in first.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, it's a Bank Holiday, which means it's probably going to rain.
    *Looks out of the window*
    Oh look, it's started already. Marvellous.

    I'm home alone this week and will be mainly stuck indoors... thanks to the inclement weather. 
    I plan to use my time wisely doing jobs that I keep putting off, like clearing out the garage and the loft, or running ethernet cable to my son's bedroom.

    In truth, I'll probably spend most of it between just laying on the sofa watching telly and downloading filth off the internets.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yep Masher, you are right. It is bloody raining.



    How come you are alone all week, where has Mrs M and the kids gone?



    Sounds like you'll have a lovely chilled time watching telly and downloading filth. Maybe if the weather clears up a bit, you could go dogging?



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  14. I must admit, I was expecting Wheatley to be a bit busier than it was! Where does everyone go out round there - it's dead?



    You have a great weekend too! Anything nice planned?



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  15. Awww Thanks Cheryl.



    It would be a win-win if it wasn't raining, again. We'll try not to let the weather put us off though!



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  16. But, I haven't got a dog.

    Oh... I see.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Izzy is obviously her mother's daughter - very clever and always up for a good photo shoot ! xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love the pictures of Izzy!  She is very clever.  You will need to watch her as she gets older ...    ;-)

    It was Brahm's birthday yesterday; however, since he still is not well, it was a quiet day.  We went to see Hysteria at the theatre (and it was hysterical!).  I would highly recommend the movie.  Then, we ordered pizza when we returned home (his favourite food).  The weekend, otherwise, was uneventful:  cleaning house, puttering in the garden, lazing in front of the television.

    Have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Find any men while out and about? If not I fear the next thing you carve from potatoe might not be G rated.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Gees, I thought it was a giant dino tooth...oh well...Izzy is a genius...that girl has your DNA...I just know it. Love the eye comment...still laughing at your expense...thanks! Ron

    ReplyDelete
  21. Me want more NG posts..jus sayin"...hugs to Izzy!

    ReplyDelete
  22. 'Love is in the air!'

    That little Miss Izzy is like her Momma! Smart as a whip, you are!
    Good to see you with your wellies off! You clean up quite nicely!
    Yes, the Queens Jubilee! It was quite the show on the Thames. Looking forward to the concert that we see in Canada tomorrow (Tuesday).
    Great post Annie.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love the duck-shower! Sorry about your dislocated shoulder though. :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Izzy is awesome!!!!  What a cutie!!!  I love the duck shower!!  
    I am thinking that you wouldn't be so busy if you weren't researching hippos all day!! =)))

    ReplyDelete
  25. When you said she'd created a niche market, did she look confused and wonder whether that was another name for a duck shower?  Poor kid.  

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oi.. I'd missed completely on my phone the fact that you had you new top on.. lovely!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Well spotted Sherlock. It's the top I bought when we went shopping at that posh department store.

    ReplyDelete
  28. You gotta start em young Fran. She needs to know the lingo. I am teaching her about quangos tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ha ha! My propensity to get distracted has been spotted!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I shall do what I can to oblige!! Izzy hugs back!!



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  31. Blimey, you have got the diamond jubilee in Canada too - of course - part of the commonwealth and all (isn't it?).



    Thank you for your compliment. Parting myself from the wellies was quite a wrench ;-)



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  32. Yes, I can definitely say that izzy has her own outlook on life!



    Glad you liked the eye comment! Hope you enjoyed the jubilee schenanigans ;-)



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  33. No. I should really pay more attention shouldn't I? I will make do with the potato ..... but not like that LOL!!



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  34. I nearly went to A&E over that shoulder but in the end I couldn't be bothered.



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  35. That girl can pose for England. Just anyone point a camera in her general direction and you will instantly get a gappy grin!



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  36. Such a clever girl, that Izzy.  I have no doubt that she gets it from her Mum.  :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. She's like Isaac bloody Newton. Kind of.



    _____

    ReplyDelete
  38. Disappointingly, I didn't have to fight off hoardes of men. Never mind, I saved a fortune on bodyguards!



    _____

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin Related Posts

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...