Thursday, 10 May 2012

It's the Easter Laptop! On the Third Year it Arose

About eight months ago I decided that I needed to clean out the cellar in my Oxford cottage. It was full to the brim with random crap that I had dumped there after selling my London house.

So every time I had a spare hour or two, I would drag stuff out of there, and flog it on Fleabay.

Pic.No.1 The stairs down to my cellar. They (and the cellar itself) are allegedly older than the house which was built in 1546

Pic.No.2 Every time I went down the stairs, I walked passed this axe. Who's axe is that? I keep expecting Norman Bates to turn up with it whilst I am having a shower

Pic.No.3 This is the random crap in my cellar ....... after spending 8 months trying to clear it out. As you can imagine, it beggars belief what it looked like before

Anyway, I was in the cellar two weeks ago when I stumbled across a laptop box. When I opened it, I discovered a laptop that I had destroyed whilst holidaying in America in 2009 (opens in a separate window).

My insurance policy had long since provided me with a replacement laptop, and I had just bunged the old one in the cellar to keep it out of the way. But after stumbling across it again, I decided to get rid of it by selling it as 'spares or repair' (non-functioning machine) on Ebay.

After one day, a potential buyer sent me an Ebay message: "please can you tell me if you there is any activity on the screen when you turn on the laptop?"

After killing the laptop in America, (I was fairly sure) I hadn't witnessed any screen activity at all, but I decided to double-check because it all happened so long ago. I plugged the laptop into the mains and turned it on (ooh baby, you are looking all sleek and shiny in that lovely laptop case).

And you will never bloody believe this ....... the laptop booted up perfectly .... right the way up to the Windows desktop. Then, after extensive testing, I established that everything was working as it should.

NO WAY! What's the likelihood of that?

Pic.No.4 My previously-dead Vaio came to life after a couple of years of dormancy

It was like the Easter of laptops. My next discovery will probably be the 'shroud of Forest Hill'; a cardboard box with an outline of where my laptop lay whilst it was in the cellar.

Many people would probably say that any laptop that had endured that level of abuse, deserved to be put into an old laptop's home to decay gently.

But not me!  I decided to relist it on Fleabay as a working laptop in order to generate a few more spondulicks to pop into my pocket.

And ...... kerrrrrrching ............... the thing sold for £240. That'll keep in me Bolly for a couple of weeks dahlink.

A 28 year old mother-of-one bought it. She lived in Oxford and asked if she could collect the laptop from my house. I told her that she could, but as soon as she arrived, I realised quite quickly that she was a 'talker'. She had had a stroke two years ago, but her best friend (who was a vet), helped her greatly. Apparently it had taken the doctors 3 months to correctly diagnose her stroke, by which time it was mostly better, but now she was on blood-thinning medication for life. And her partner was not pulling his weight when it came to looking after the kid which was making things more difficult. If it wasn't for her mum she would be lost. But she was so thankful for having a new laptop because she found daytime boring ... not having a job and all. Her house needed jobs doing on it, so she was going to buy some paint and stuff online to try and save money. Not that her partner would appreciate that; he kept spending money on useless stuff even though she didn't have a job and they were short of money, and he took forever to do any DIY jobs. It was a good job that they got a good deal on the divan bed in the main bedroom or else they would still be sleeping on the old bed. And crikey, Maddy is such hard work now that she is approaching two. She's into everything and you can forget relaxation. Last week she was caught chewing on a lacy thong that she had retrieved from the washing basket. And if that wasn't enough, just last week Joel was saying that maybe they should try for another 'un, but no fear there, she had got some new contraceptive pills  ..... blah blah blah blah blah

I nearly offered to pay her £240 to leave. She was like a pull-string doll (with a very long string). But after gradually and subtley ushering her towards the front door, I finally managed to get her over the threshold.

"Nice to meet you!" I shouted at her whilst she was mid-sentence. And then I shut the front door without without waiting for a reply.

She continued talking to the closed front door for a couple of minutes, before realising that she had run out of people to talk at.

Crikey, I have never known anyone talk so much. If I had to give her a nickname, it would be 'White Noise'.

So dahlink, have you ever submitted an insurance claim? And if yes, what was it? (please type quietly because I am still suffering after my encounter with White Noise).

22 comments:

  1. I look forward to "White Noise 2", in a supermarket perhaps or the hairdressers. Maybe both, working up to weekly encounters. Then there is the axe......

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  2. I do hope you had the sense to 'clean' your laptop before selling it. White Noise could easily find herself reading this blog, otherwise. 

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  3. Good point! It was a right pain in the arse getting rid of the data. Eventually, I wiped the hard drive and restored the factory settings.



    Computer shops wanted around £100 to do it!



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  4. How lovely!!  You managed to sell your resurrected lap-top AND make a new best friend.

    Lol xx

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  5. Yep, it was definitely a double-whammy!



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  6. Congrats, Annie! That's a lot of dough you just fell into. Of course it came with a Chatty Kathy, but she probably got the message when you closed the door on her on her motoring lips. I'd consider moving since she's the type that when the slightest problem happens with that laptop, she'll be back like a bad smell!

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  7. Congrats, Annie! That's a lot of dough you just fell into. Of course it came with a Chatty Kathy, but she probably got the message when you closed the door on her motoring lips. I'd consider moving since she's the type that when the slightest problem happens with that laptop, she'll be back like a bad smell!Like
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  8. Hahahahahahahah!  Hilarious! You crack me up. I needed that today.
    Wish I could have been a fly on the wall:)

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  9. Your basement may be old but it seems there are some healing spirits in there!  It has risen indeed!  =)  Congrats!  It's like finding a winning lottery ticket!

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  10. Congrats on your perseverance in cleaning out the basement.  A few hours at a time is the way to go.  That was my process as I prepared to move last year.   Keep at it.  Maybe you'll find another money-producing surprise down there.   And yeah.  I've run into a few of those "white noise" types, too.   It would have been a perfect time for NG to live up to his reputation and pee on her shoe.  

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  11. Risen from it's cold tomb - remarkable ! I like to chat too but I met a white noise lady at the Charity shop the other day who told me all about herself.  We call the shop " Care in the community "
    White noise may return...SHE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE !  I suggest you come to the door axe in hand then trap her in your cellar with NG to talk at while you open yourself one of those bottles of bolly ! 

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  12. It's like an xmas miracle! Okay, I know nothing about England, my future son in law is from Liverpool. Is that the hood, tell me, I can take it. 

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  13. Liverpool? Yeh, he's from the hood. Make sure you chain down your DVD player, hide your purse and call him Scouse!!

    That's exciting - will you daughter be living in the US or UK?!

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  14.  LOL! You've experienced a white noise woman - we are kin indeed ;-) I am loving that you call your shop 'care in the community' - I find it constantly amazing how much information people are willing to divulge to strangers!

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  15. Yeh, you did well Jayne. I remember when you were despairing at the scale at the task, and look at you now - all sorted.

    The thing about Naughty George is that he is never naughty when you want him to be. Git.

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  16.  I know! it was excellent stumbling upon that unexpected money earner. Huzzar!

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  17.  Eh up Nicki - you needed cheering up? You had a bad day chick? I hope not mwahhh x

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  18. Oh My God. I hadn't considered the possibility of her returning. Can you imagine? I will pretend not to be in. Actually, I will probably have to move house to truly escape!!

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  19.  Ugh, I bloody hope not. I can't stand listening to people talk shite ........ !!

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  20. Good ole Sony Vaio computers ... my computer of choice also.  Good taste!

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  21. Annie! You MUST have your own TV series!!! This was hilarious! Nice that the computer worked after so long! Go figure!
    Now to the FUN part!! This was so funny for us....if you only knew! YES, we have met a few like this 'talker'. We get mesmerized by 'them' and wonder what fuels these people. They usually don't hear a word you are saying because they 'are on a roll'! I loved this Annie and how you dealt with it. Hey, good that you got paid to listen!

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  22. Crikey Jim, so you have suffered at the hands of a talker too? They are unbelievable aren't they? I like the way you get mesmerised with them hehehe!



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