Strep Throat nearly killed me. Kind of

So as you know, earlier this week, I had a bit of a fever kick in. It both took me by surprise, and pissed me off - because I am virtually never ill. I can't even remember the last time I had a cold - ten years ago maybe? Whereas most other people seem to contract a cold at least once a year (I am like an ox but without horns).

But things didn't stop at the fever, oh no. Heaven forbid that I should enjoy being in bed.

Before long, all my joints started throbbing and aching, and then the piece de resistance suddenly kicked in. Throat pain.

It was like someone had slit my throat using an angle grinder and then blasted the back of my throat with shards of glass.

It was so bloody painful that I had to psyche myself up to sip a few drops of water.

Initially, I thought I had picked up a nasty cold, but I didn't have any cold symptoms other than fever and a sore throat, so I made a quick call to the doctors. It turns out I had picked up something called 'Strep Throat', which is a bacterial infection, not a viral illness like a cold.

I was told to take anti-biotics but I refused because I read that Strep Throat can heal on it's own. And the overuse of antibiotics is leading to their widespread inefficacy. I am an eco-hugging tree-warrior like that.

So, after flirting with Strep Throat, I have literally just been lying in bed for the last few days, too fatigued to get up. I would say that it was awful, but truly it wasn't that bad ..... how bad can lying in bed listening to Radio 4, get for chrissake? The biggest issue I had to deal with was trying to avoid the daily episode of 'The Archers' before the Sunday omnibus was broadcast. Bloody nightmare.

Pic.No.1 My new favourite hobby was taking drugs. They were ace! No wonder Lindsay Lohan can't keep away. Strepstrils were great, but not as great as Chloraseptic spray. Apparently it numbs your throat, so I tested it by eating a green chilli and it worked

The only thing that wasn't too hot, was being unable to eat because my throat hurt (as we say in the UK, it was as rough as a badger's arse).

At least that's what I first thought. But not eating for 4 days has a fantastic plus side - I have lost 6 lbs! How effing marvellous is that? I look a bit like Elle McPherson if you squint and look at me sideways ......... and the lighting is quite low.

Pic.No. 2 This is a mock up of what I might look like if I don't pull through

But you will be pleased to know that today (day 5), I finally seem to be cracking this Strep Throat thingy. I am out of bed and doing stuff, but my throat is still really painful, which means that eating is a chore to be mainly avoided. But hey, Victoriam Beckham was right; 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels'. She's wise like a Buddha she is. But not as fat. Obviously.

So dahlink, I loved reading about your random illnesses on yesterday's post. Do you have any more that can compete with Strep Throat?

P.S. I had too much time on my hands today. So I ended up getting a bit obsessed by safety critical products that you would rely on in an emergency but you will never have tested prior to that.

'What are you on about you daft bint?' I hear you cry.

Ok, let me give you some examples - Airbags, bullet-proof vests, earthing straps, and emergency parachutes in aircraft. How do you know that these things will actually work when it comes to the crunch?

So imagine how impressed I was when I stumbled across a guy who was willing to test how robust his new purchase actually was.

Vid.No.1 Yep, this guy decided to test his new bullet-proof vest, by shooting himself with a Glock 10mm. The tosser pointed the gun at his Solar Plexus which would have doubly increased the pain. Actually, this guy would have a gong if he entered the Darwin Awards