So without further ado, let me introduce you to the dope of my new gadgets .......
Pic.No.1 First attempt to capture my new gadget on film
Pic.No.2 In the second attempt I use the spaghetti jar as a foil (that's artistic that is)
Pic.No.3 Look I managed to get a bit of pan in this photograph
As if it wasn't entirely bloody obvious, my new gadget is of course .......dah dah .....a microwave (I can hear all the bloke readers tutting with disgust as I write and shouting 'shit gadget').
Fair enough - given that I avoid the desolate wasteland at the back of my house (the kitchen) wherever possible - you may be slightly taken aback by my choice of gadget.
So let me explain. When I was in my early twenties, I dated a bohemian foodie guy (who also won 'young musician of the year' when he was 13 - by playing the cello).
I distinctly remember him standing in the kitchen, passionately gesticulating about real food, and extolling the virtues of 'real cooking methods'.
"Cooking with those new fangled microwaves," he shouted at me, "is the equivalent of cooking with a miniature nuclear power plant."
I looked at him, wide-eyed and horrified.
He continued with gravity, "if those things ever leak, or if you turn them on with the door open, the radioactive rays can cause you serious harm," he nodded.
And so for 17 years, I steered clear of microwave ovens like they were the plague. Until one day last week when a chum visited and wanted to borrow my microwave to heat up her baby's bottle.
"I haven't got a microwave," I said.
"Bloody hell, it's like Victorian times round here," chum said, before adding, "why haven't you got one?"
"So I don't get radioactive poisoning," I said.
"I think you might be majorly confusing radioactivity with micro-waves," she pointed out.
Ah. With hindsight - how embarrassingly stupid was that?
So without further ado, I went out and purchased the first microwave that I ever owned. And because I am so used to traditional cooking, at the moment I only use it to heat up my cold cups of tea, which is pretty minging if you think about it. But I don't know what else to use it for.
One other perplexing feature of my new microwave is the mirrored door. It's almost like having a mirror on your bedroom ceiling, except that you feel a desire to parade your chicken wrapped in parma ham around instead.
Anyway, enough of that microwave gadget ....... here is a taster of the next gadget to come. It was delivered by courier today ........
Pic.No.4 This is the courier parcel containing my next gadget
But because I am a tease I am not going to spill a word until my next blog post AR HAR HAR HAR HAR (that was an evil laugh, not me vomiting or anything).
So dahlink .... what's new? I need an update ;-)