The reason behind my internetless state is because I have been oop North, helping my chum Sarah move into her new house ..... compounded by the fact that telecomms companies are twats - it always takes them at least a week to get new telephone and wi-fi packages up and running.
It's a bloody good job that utilities companies aren't so tardy .... otherwise they would leave a trail of dead hypothermic geriatrics in their wake, and that gets quite messy. I should imagine.
So I have spent the last few days humping furniture about, doing DIY jobs on Sarah's new house, and eating Subway sandwiches for every meal (there was a Subway within 30 seconds walk of her house - excellent). In fact I started to look like a Steak and Cheese melt with Jalapenos if you looked at me in a jaunty angle.
But unfortunately, I totally forgot to take many pictures, in fact I only took three because I was so busy ..... here goes ...............
Pic.No.1 That's Sarah and Gary in the picture. Here we were wallpapering her kitchen wall (we hung up the stripey stuff), and putting up shelves
Pic.No.2 This is a picture of the conservatory before Sarah moved in (Sarah sent me this picture)
Pic.No.3 And here is Sarah's new conservatory after two days of unpacking bags and boxes FULL of stuff - not bad eh?
So, after three days of hard work, I am now back in Oxford. And following the events in Leeds, I have got a small blister on my right little finger, and bruises down both shins and inner arms (from lifting large pieces of furniture). I probably look a bit like a heroin addict except for the fact that Subway stopped me looking emaciated.
What did you get up to this weekend my dear?
P.S. I found this article on a news website and it made me laugh my head off ....... how bizarre is the whole scenario?
Burly rugby player has a stroke after freak gym accident … then wakes up gay and becomes a hairdresser
- Chris Birch loses eight stone and transforms himself from skinhead to 'preened man'
- Gives up job in bank and retrains as a hairdresser
When 19-stone rugby player Chris Birch suffered a stroke during a freak training accident, his family feared it would be a life-changing injury.
Yet while his recovery certainly brought about a transformation, it seems to have been in a way no one could have expected.
For when he regained consciousness, the 26-year-old – who was engaged to his girlfriend – claimed he had become gay.
New life: Chris now works as a hairdresser and lives above the shop with his boyfriend
Mr Birch’s astonishing change saw him break up with his fiancée, ditch his job in a bank to retrain as a hairdresser and lose eight stone in weight.
He has now moved in with his 19-year-old boyfriend.
The now ex-rugby player, a flanker with his local amateur reserve side, had been attempting a back flip in front of friends on a field when he fell down a grass bank, breaking his neck and suffering the stroke.
Before the stroke: Chris Birch weighed 19 stone, worked in a bank and played rugby
He was taken to hospital where his fiancée and family spent days waiting anxiously at his bedside before he delivered the shocking news.
Mr Birch recalled: ‘I was gay when I woke up and I still am. It sounds strange but when I came round I immediately felt different.
‘I wasn’t interested in women any more. I was definitely gay. I had never been attracted to a man before – I’d never even had any gay friends.
‘But I didn’t care about who I was before, I had to be true to my feelings.’
Before the accident Mr Birch, of Ystrad Mynach, South Wales, had spent his weekends watching sport and drinking with his mates.
But he said: ‘Suddenly, I hated everything about my old life. I didn’t get on with my friends, I hated sport and found my job boring.
‘I started to take more pride in my appearance, bleached my hair and started working out. I went from a 19-stone skinhead to an 11-stone preened man.
‘People I used to know barely recognised me and with my new look I became even more confident.’
Mr Birch sought advice from his neurologist and was told it could all be down to the stroke opening up a different part of his brain.
Two years ago it was reported that Alan Brown, from Malvern, Worcestershire, woke from a stroke to find he was able to paint and draw in incredible detail, despite no previous evidence of the skill.
The father of three said the experience must have ‘flicked a switch’ in the creative part of his brain.
And Mr Birch certainly has no regrets about his transformation. ‘I’m nothing like the old Chris now but I wouldn’t change a thing,’ he said.
Transformation: Chris Birch with his boyfriend Jack. He said: 'I think I'm happier than ever, so I don't regret the accident'
Awww, but don't they make a lovely couple? But (and I am not qualified to comment on this at all, but that never stops me), I have a sneaky suspicion that he was gay before the accident but didn't want to come out. Or maybe I am wrong ........ what do you think dahlink?