Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Earache, Awkward Kisses and an Amazing Aircraft Thingy

Kids are bloody amazing they are.

Last night at 1am, there I was minding my own business and sleeping, when my bedroom door was suddenly flung open.

Standing in the doorway (like ET's dad did when he came out the spaceship), was Izzy .... and she was crying.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" I asked jumping out of bed and running across the room.

"Don't say 'bloody', it's a rude word," she sobbed as I knelt down before her.

Good to know that she has standards even in the face of adversity. That's my gal.

"Ok, sorry," I replied, "what the bally hell is up with you?"

And then she wailed the words that every parent dreads to hear at 1am in the morning ..... after being awoken from a deep sleep ....... and a dream where Tom Berenger was hand-feeding me grapes ........ "I've got earache!"

Awwww shit. As you probably already know, earache is a parental epic which generally has the following cycle:

child does painful cries ..... administer Ibuprofen ..... sleep for 5 minutes ..... child develops fever ..... administer Calpol ..... child dozes for 5 minutes and then wakes up too hot ..... give child fluids ..... child dozes for 5 minutes ..... then wakes up too cold ..... cover child up ...... child dozes for 5 minutes and then wakes up too hot again, and ear has started hurting again.

Then repeat the above ad infinitum until 7am arrives and the alarm commences it's incessant beeping.

That's what I did last night. As justice goes, it was rougher than a badger's arse.

But to add insult to extreme tiredness, literally the minute that I dragged myself out of bed this morning (after no more than two hours kip), Izzy suddenly dropped off into a deep, contented sleep which lasted for the rest of the day.     

How do they do that?

All kids seem to possess the superhero power of 'inconvenient illnesses' (as you can probably tell, I am not cut out for working in the 'caring' sector). That's why I am not Mother Annie of Calcutta.

Anyway, you will be glad to hear that I managed to cheer myself up by finding this video of an awkward kiss. Prepare to cringe ..................... it's the dog's danglies.

Vid.No.1 The most awkward kiss ever?

And if that wasn't cool enough, my chum Robert, from the blog 'Awkright Around the Railway', sent me the following clip, because it has got an aircraft in it and he knew that I used to work in aerospace. 

It's awesome. In prelude, basically an airliner was preparing to land when the front nose-wheel (landing gear) failed to deploy properly ..... and this is what happened next ...................


Vid.No.2. The ultimate in speed and timing ............ executed by a bloody nutjob

So dahlink, what have you been up to this week? Have you been striking like all the chaps in the UK? Or maybe you have indulged in a spot of Christmas shopping ..... pray do tell!

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