Friday, 29 April 2011

The holiday blog with no name (because I can't think of one)

Today was my first morning in Clermont, Florida, and I woke up thinking that I had died, which was a bit disconcerting to say the least.

The problem was a mixture of jet-lag combined with the fact that the bedroom that I was sleeping in was decorated all in white. So when the morning sun came streaming towards me through the window, it felt like some divine being had come to claim my soul. It was a full minute before I realised that I was in fact, alive, and that I should bloody close the blinds before going to bed.

Pic.No.1 This is the bedroom of death that I slept in

I jumped out of bed and into the en-suite shower (oh yes dahlink) before quickly getting dressed ready for breakfast which was being cooked by Clare - oh yeh, she is a trooper like that. I love it.

Pic.No.2 This is the bathroom of non-death

Actually, in order to be polite, I should introduce you to Clare properly. She owns the blog 'Yes, his name is Gary', and she is not as good-looking as me. We met 20 years ago at University when we were 2 of the 4 girls studying Engineering on a course of 180 students.

Despite being English, Clare ended up marrying a lamb shank (yank) called Jody and moved to Florida with him. Hence she became a Johnny Foreigner. At first I approached her rather tentatively, but then she got a house with a swimming pool and it didn't seem quite so significant.

Pic.No.3 Spot of breakfast by the pool anyone?

After a scrumptious breakfast, I decided to take advantage of glorious sunshine by undertaking a spot of sunbathing in order to banish my cadaverous pallor. That would teach all the people who nicknamed me 'Gorgonzola' (white with blue veins).

I had read somewhere, that when you sunbathe, it is important to apply sunscreen or cover up, and rotate yourself regularly so that you lessen the risk of burning. So I came up with a plan of action .........

Pic.No.4 First of all I sunbathed my front for 30 minutes, and I set a timer so I would know when to turn over (that is Gary the dog sniffing me)

Pic.No.5 Then I did my back for exactly the same time, so it was like proper military precision

An hour later, I was armed with a healthy glow, and Clare asked if I fancied a spot of shopping.

"Can we go to Walmart to see if we can see any fat people dressed as superman?" I asked, because one of my favourite websites is

"Yes of course we can," Clare replied and we hopped in the car armed with a camera.

Unfortunately after extensive searching, we didn't see any 'people of Walmart' but Clare did spot a magnificently tacky plastic owl.

Vid.No.1 Clare found a comedy owl in Walmart (9 seconds)

So, a successful day was had by all. And then when we got back, Clare and Jody had invited some friends over so we all scoffed a home-cooked Jambalaya and then chilled out on the patio. 

Pic.No.6 This is Sarah and Chris. They came round for dinner and they were good fun

It was a great start to the holiday: It is not often that I get to witness such a fine example of a plastic owl. 

As for the rest of the weekend, I am not sure what we are doing. Clare and Jody have been talking about us going to see the launch of the space shuttle tomorrow (70 miles away from Clermont), which made me so excited that I nearly puked. Then they dashed my hopes by saying that the roads might be too busy for us to get there. Watch this space. 

So dahlink, today was the day of the Royal Wedding. Did you partake, and if yes, what did you get up to? 

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