I annoy myself, I do: It starts with me noticing something odd, and then I can't get it out my head until I know what the answer is .......... which is where you come in! I want you to be my own personal Sherlock Holmes (but I don't want you to dress up in a Deerstalker hat and tweeds, or start smoking pipes. That would be nearly as weird as those fetish guys who like dressing up as babies). So here goes ................
1. Dead birds. I live in the countryside and over the period of a year, I will see hundreds, maybe thousands, of birds in my garden and around the village. Yet I have never seen so much as a single dead bird (with the exception of roadkill). And I spend a LOT of time walking around the fields, forests and glens of rural Oxfordshire. What's that all about then?
[Note to reader: it's not that I actually want to see lots of dead birds (that would be a pre-cursor to me becoming a serial killer), I just want to know what happens to them].
2. Aircraft turning corners. Why oh why, do aircraft turn corners when they are flying? It's not like they need to navigate around buildings or other aircraft. Surely the most efficient way to reach a destination is a straight line? So why don't they just fly from A to B?
As luck would have it, I noticed an aircraft turning a corner over my house this evening, as you can see from the photograph below.
Pic.No. 1 An aircraft turning a corner whilst flying. In terms of mathematical efficiency, it seems more logical that an aircraft should fly in a straight line
I am suspecting that the answer lies in Vector Analysis, but that is just me wild guessing.
Oooh, I have just remembered that I have an old friend called Matt who is an 'Air Traffic Controller' so I emailed him the question. Although I am awaiting his response, please don't let it stop you speculating.......
3. Dry-cleaning raincoats. This one is fairly self-explanatory. Why do you have to dry-clean raincoats? (I have got raincoat with a label that says 'dry clean only'). What the bloody hell is that all about then?
So get your 'thinking cap' on and let me know you theories. Look at me - I am all high-maintenance and demanding!
P.S. But the upside is that I will help you if there is anything bugging you (yeh, I am like Mother Theresa, but with less wrinkles, and less dead).
You do think of some strange things, nothing on the TV I presume?
ReplyDeleteLook at me being wise and all knowing...here is my answer (bullshit) for you on all three questions!
ReplyDeleteDead birds go to the sacred bird graveyard, much akin to the elephant graveyard, where they are ritually eaten by feral cats...it's the circle of life and all that.
Airplanes...those are American airplanes entering English airspace and forgetting to fly on the opposite side of the road. So they appear to turn the corner or make a course correction to avoid head on's and getting a ticket!
And lastly, and possibly close to the truth...
You dry clean only things that are waterproof because there are water retardant chemicals used in the manufacture of the cloth that normal detergents would wash away.
;-)
Eh up Robert, you fast-fingered Cavalier! You are always the first to post!
ReplyDeleteI don't have a bloody TV. I live in the sticks and the reception was crap so I ditched it.
Crikey.... I think you have reached the root of the problem!
Hahaha - I'll try to tackle question 2: the curve-flying aircrafts. I'm neither a mathematician nor a physicist - I'm more the visual type. So I SEE them chasing around an imaginary corner, singing "We'll engineer" - trying to make sure those lost birdies are not hiding behind a bushel- err - cloud. Air Traffic controllers don't like that sort of road hog behaviour in the air - so the pilots put up the collars of their raincoats - flying incognito. Clean, of course - no dry martinis. Dry-clean.
ReplyDeleteOkay, you have waaaay too much time on your hands!
ReplyDeleteAirplanes turning corners - I assume something to do with winds or wind tunnels or making a sharp right at a McDonalds drive-thru in the sky.
Dry-cleaning raincoats - a yearly thing to get the dirt and snot and crap out of them. Dry-cleaning as I understand it is not dry, and is more chemicals than water. Have you smelled one of those places?
Dead birds - uh, you live in the COUNTRY!
I tend to wonder about this kind of crap, too, so I have some possible answers.
ReplyDeleteThe birds are flying over here and dying in flocks over Arkansas and Louisiana. Since the first of the year an estimated 10,000 birds have fallen from the sky DEAD. Can't figure out why. Scientist are trying to figure it out. Perhaps they just don't want to dirty up your countryside and figure not much is happening in Arkansas or Louisiana.
2. The turning of the plane. They are trying to find a control tower where the air controller is awake. (my blog tomorrow will discuss how improbable that is)
3. The raincoat situation. There is a conspiracy. The manufacter of the coats are being paid off by the dry cleaner's associations. Kind of a paying up front for future business.
Aircraft turning and the reasons well explained here:- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airfield_traffic_pattern
ReplyDeleteAs to not having a TV, I must admit I watch more on the likes of IPlayer than I do live.
I have been following the boat that Guy built on BBC he is recreating how things were done in the industrial revolution. Including a steam powered shower and making a iron cooking pot. Fascinating programme.
TV channels, done a scan and you should be able to receive lot's on freeview details here:- http://www.freeview.co.uk/availability/main/display/coverage/OX33+1EH/NA/0/lq4pqp1idurr37tts5qu2645r1
ReplyDeleteLook at all those channels of pure rubbish.
Search based on your postcode by the way,..
I found a dead bird once! I couldn't tell what had done it in as it didn't look harmed in any way, just lying there dead on my front lawn. I called my neighbour over to check it out, and he thought I should call the Ministry of Health, so I did, and two government agents came within the hour and took it away. True story!
ReplyDeleteWell, you've done it now--I haven't ever seen any dead birds either--except road kill. WTH? WAIT! I did see a red shouldered hawk standing at the edge of the pond not moving at all and the lady at the wild bird place said they would come get him but then she emailed me and he was dead by the time they arrived. But that's it so not really helpful at all. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteI imagine the airplane thing has something to do with...oh, who am I kidding. I have no idea.
The rain coat and dry cleaning? Maybe the detergent and agitation of the washer do something to the chemicals that keep the coat waterproof? Again, I have no idea. LOL
I know! I know! Pick me!!!....
ReplyDeleteAirplanes turn corners because the earth is constantly spinning and they have to adjust course for that.
Okay, I just pulled that one out of my ass, but it kinda makes sense, doesn't it?
I'm completely stumped on the birds and raincoats though.
Ok...well here's my take on things (and how is it that you have so much time on your hands to come up with this??)
ReplyDelete1 - Dead birds :: If I told you I would have to kill you
2 - Aircraft turning corners :: Didn't you work in the aviation industry?
3 - Dry-cleaning raincoats :: Yeah - I got nothin'.
So there ya go...did I help ya out any? =) *whispers something about email if you have so much time on your hands -snort- *
aaww, I want to dress up like Sherlock Holmes !
ReplyDeleteSadly, I get to see lots of dead birds as I have three cats but agree, unless they've been silly enough to fly into a car cami cazi style ( I so know that's spelled wrong ! ) I don't see dead birds and I walk in the country a great deal.
I don't know anything about aircraft. I still don't understand how they get up there in the first place.
Not washing raincoats annoys the hell outta me. I'm married to a sailor for God's sake. He gets buckets & buckets of sea water chucked at him on a regular basis.( I am now thinking of the famous Morcombe & Wise sailor sketch ! ) I do believe it's something about washing out the waterproof bit.
Chucking copious amounts of sea water on a raincoat will do that after time too.
1.A lot of birds will 'get eaten' by other critters. I suspect not much is left over to be seen.
ReplyDelete2. Jumping to conclusions, I'd say on this one! Maybe the pilot had to turn back because he forgot a passenger or two! It happens here!
3. Yes, who would dry-clean a raincoat?! Do they get dirty? Probably just covering their asses if it doesn't 'stand up' to expectations....or something like that!
Too earlier for thought-provoking stuff like this Annie! But fun speculating.....
Scarily I'd be more worried about Robert having your post code!
ReplyDeleteYou're not seeing any dead birds because the zombies, who are trying to wean themselves off human flesh, are eating dead birds instead.
ReplyDeleteDon't you feel safer now?
LACK OF DEAD BIRDS - all collected every night by gypsies along with old fridges.
ReplyDeletePLANES TURNING CORNERS - haven't you ever made a wrong turn in your life? Just because the mode of transport is airborne it doesn't mean the driver hasn't been distracted by his wife phoning and asking whether he'd remembered it was her mother's birthday next Monday.
DRY-CLEANING RAINCOATS - you're right. That's inexplicable.
Hello Neil and welcome!
ReplyDeleteNo way do all the gypsies pick up all the dead birds ........ it would take them forever because the dead birds are so illusive.
Planes turn corners, in the sky. It is still weird even if the pilot is talking to his bint.
Raincoats - agreed...............!
Thanks for stopping by ;-)
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Surely they are only made elusive by the persons removing them (in this case the gypsies as I correctly pointed out)?
ReplyDeleteIt may look strange to a layman aircraft engineering degree holder such as yourself that planes turn corners, but you have to realise that being a pilot is very complicated these days. If the pilot points the plane in the wrong direction by the smallest amount his error will be magnified due to the length of journey (flights of over 50 miles are commonplace). A typical corner-turning scenario would go like this:
Plane takes off and pilot points it in roughly the right direction.
Mobile phone rings - it's the wife "My mum's birthday on Monday" etc..
Pilot nudges the steering wheel while trying to clamp his phone with his shoulder and opening a can of lager at the same time. Pilot doesn't notice.
Pilot presses a button that makes the plane keep going without him being there.
Pilot goes for a passenger 'meet and greet' session.
On his return to the cockpit (snicker) he notices the plane is flying in the wrong direction so he turns.
People like yourself photograph the vapour-trail and speculate incredulously.
I'm glad we agree about the rain coat. As Meatloaf almost said... "1 out of 3 ain't bad"
LOL Neil .... I hope you have a blog yourself because the way you write is very amusing! Please let me know what it is if you do, and I will stop by ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I suddenly realised that I have a friend who is an Air Traffic Controller, so I decided to ask him about the 'planes turning corners' question. Here is the discussion:
Hello Anne!
Nice to hear from you!
Yes.... Why don't aircraft fly in straight lines... Would make my job much easier!! Really it's cos we've got airways in the sky so we've gotta vector them around that structure... Basically we've got this great big sky but we funnel all the planes through a little bit of it... Make sense?? Erm no! But hey! I probably wouldn't be needed if we didn't do that! Personally I blame Europe!
We're all lovin Scotland! Glad Mum is keeping you posted with Maddy, she is hilarious at times!
Been busy with Lifeboats! Enjoying it lots too! We were the 4th busiest station in Scotland in 2010! Vanessa is getting good when my pager goes off... Especially in the middle of the night... She jumps out of bed too and dashes down to start my car whilst I'm getting dressed! Maddy normally shouts Daddy! Boat! Boat! When the pager goes off!
Hope you are doing well?
Thanks for emailing!
Spewbald xx
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