Sunday, 13 February 2011

Yep, I killed yet another gadget

Can you bloody believe it? Less than six months after I killed my last iPhone, I have now gone and killed my current one deader than a T-Rex.

I am now totally irritating myself with my own clumsiness because yet again, I will have to put myself through the tooth-pulling excruciation of dealing with yet another insurance company (plus I know that you are secretly thinking 'it's people like you that put up our insurance premiums', which is completely true). The victim insurer for this claim is a company called LSG, and I am sure that I am going to make a lot of friends within the company as we get intimate over the next few months. 

Pic.No.1. Dead iPhone

"So how the bloody hell did you kill your phone?" I hear you cry.

Actually, it is a bit embarrassing: Purely because I killed it in such a weedy way. If, for example, I had been walking down the road and then tripped and fallen into the path of a steam roller, resulting in me and my iPhone being squashed as flat as waffer-thin-mints, then I would have been proud of my iPhone's demise. Because that is a hard-as-nails way to snuff it.

But no. It didn't happen like that..... let me elucidate. To start at the very beginning, I had had a really busy day and, unusually, had decided to spend the evening chilling out watching the TV (I don't normally watch much TV because its passivity makes me feel zombi-fied).

And before I knew it, the unthinkable happened; I fell asleep on the sofa (I must have been watching David Cameron doing a speech or something). I slept, and I slept and I slept ...... until 3.30am when the loud voices on the TV awoke me as quickly as they sent me to sleep.

[Brief interjection: Why, whenever you accidentally fall asleep on the sofa, do you ALWAYS awake to find the weather forecast on the TV? It's an international mystery-type enigma.]

The voices awoke me so quickly in fact, that I jumped out of my skin, and jerked upright causing my iPhone to projectile into the fireplace.

Bloody lucky I didn't have the fire lit then. Imagine how exciting it would have been if the phone had landed in a burning fireplace - I would have had my own personal fireworks show. Excrement! But presenting a twisted glob of metal and plastic to an insurance company might have raised some questions.

So, there I am; undertaking yet another insurance claim to get my iPhone repaired, and I know it is going to take weeks to sort out. And, if that wasn't bad enough, I haven't been able to take any pictures of stuff that is going on because my only camera was my iPhone camera. This means that my blog has morphed from a 'photo-blog' to a 'nick-pictures-off-the-internet-blog'.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I am back to using a friend's borrowed mobile phone until I get a new iPhone. Take a deep breath, and let me introduce the Nokia P900 ..........  

Pic.No.2. Nokia P900 (photo nicked off the internet)

Man alive! It is only one step advanced from carrying the battery pack around in a suitcase. I have had to suffer teenagers pointing and laughing at me. It's totally humiliating.

As an aside, I am going to do a quick recap on the gadgets I have killed in the last two years:

Three laptops
One Nokia Arte 8800 mobile phone
Two iPhones
One Denon S302 surround sound system
One Casio Exilim digital camera

I am telling you now, one day I reckon that my name is going to become a verb synonymous with the word 'clumsy'; as in 'aww crap, I've done a Dickens and dropped my laptop down the toilet.'

Anyway, I shall let you know how I get on. Have you killed anything recently?


  1. Love the visual image of your iPhone flying into the fireplace!

    On this side of the pond, both the coffee machine are acting up and going into nap mode at random. I have wisely decided not to do anything about either, naively hoping they will right themselves.

  2. Anne I can't bloody believe you... although I can believe you fell asleep not in your bed.. (pictures back to me rescuing wine glass from smashing by pool) as you snored away outside said wine glass hanging on by a thread between two fingers!

  3. Eh up Brahm..... damn right, ignore it if it looks a bit dodgy. Failing that, go to Kevin and say 'something looks wrong with this, what do you think it is?' then hand over the appliance and run away!

  4. Clare, where have you been? I need to you judge my caption competition! Can you let me know who you deem worthy as winner?

  5. iPod Touch number 1 - dropped it in the bathtub. (News flash - they can't swim). iPod Touch number 2 - lost it during a snow storm. (Another flash - they aren't like boomerangs either). iPod Touch number 3 - still with me. Good thing because I'm broke from replacement costs. All this to say, you aren't alone! :)

  6. umm umm umm er, no sadly I haven't killed anything recently. The cat has. Oh and a creepy Chinese doll went missing in the shop ( Charity Shop ) only to reappear again very eeriy... and no - today is not my birthday but tomorrow is.

  7. I cant stop laughing. Hmmmmmm let's see, i haven't done a Dickens lately :-)

  8. I think there must be some underlying reason in your subconscious for your clear animosity toward technology. Perhaps you could qualify for one of those free group studies where they hook you up to electrodes and ask you about your childhood.


  9. Let me see...I will not even tell you what type of cell phone I have! For fear of being 'laughed off the web'!!
    What have I killed lately? Only the wireless....I literally 'fried' it! Seriously, poof! That's is as in a puff of It didn't even get a chance to work!

  10. I would say at this point your calling is in quality control...just to protect manufacturers from consumers like you...just saying :)

  11. With you in charge of it, I don't hold out much hope for your very sexy, Sony (replacement) laptop. I give it six-weeks.

    How comes your picture of a Nokia P900 is actually a Sony Ericsson?

  12. Annie....Annie...Annie... *said while covering mouth so you can see the snarky grin on my face* Honestly...we truly need to bubble wrap you, and everything within a 3 country radius around you!

    Nothing is broken yet around these parts...but I'm working on the basement today so anything could happen.... =)

  13. Well shit, now I'm glad you don't have that microwave, there would be too much nuclear fall out in your hands.

  14. Your borrowed phone looks like it is from the 1980's should have a cord. You may want to switch to the Motorola Droid, you can't kill it with a wooden steak and a silver bullet, trust me I've tried! Cheers little lady, and I shall be pointing and larfing at you while you talk on your dinosaur phone. Just lett'n ya know!

  15. i've been lucky. haven't done a dickens in a while now.

  16. The dog up the road may have killed one of my hens this morning... one very sad looking hen & tons of feathers everywhere & a traumatised neighbour - great way to start my birthday.

    Hen currently sitting in a basket of hay by the kitchen radiator looking stunned. Have riends coming in for tea. They don't " do " birds.

  17. Just what kind of weird mojo is screwing up your aura kiddo? I thought I had bad luck with electronics; but you leave me in the shade.

    The last time I killed a phone I was working outside in a pareo and had the phone stuck between my boobs. While leaning over to dump a bucket of water it slipped from it's sweaty home in my boobage and plunked into said bucket.

    Come say hi today. I have something that'll make you laugh and forget your problem for a minute.

  18. Masher, you are a geek! I only noticed my mistake when you pointed it out. You need to start a new hobby called 'phone spotting'

  19. Eh up Widow Lady! Thanks for rubbing it in, ya git! People proper stare at it, and then nudge and wink at their friends.

  20. So....
    I also have bad luck dropping electronic items although I have never jumped one into a fire. (should I admit this out on the blogosphere?) I carry my cell phone, ipod etc downstairs from the bedroom to the bathroom under my bosoms - they are handy - but if I happen to bend over before reaching my destination...... enough said.

  21. Hello Life, Laughter and Paris ... are you new here? It's nice to have you around! I think we are going to be good buddies judging on your track record with gadgets! Maybe we could form a splinter group?


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