I am now totally irritating myself with my own clumsiness because yet again, I will have to put myself through the tooth-pulling excruciation of dealing with yet another insurance company (plus I know that you are secretly thinking 'it's people like you that put up our insurance premiums', which is completely true). The
Pic.No.1. Dead iPhone
"So how the bloody hell did you kill your phone?" I hear you cry.
Actually, it is a bit embarrassing: Purely because I killed it in such a weedy way. If, for example, I had been walking down the road and then tripped and fallen into the path of a steam roller, resulting in me and my iPhone being squashed as flat as waffer-thin-mints, then I would have been proud of my iPhone's demise. Because that is a hard-as-nails way to snuff it.
But no. It didn't happen like that..... let me elucidate. To start at the very beginning, I had had a really busy day and, unusually, had decided to spend the evening chilling out watching the TV (I don't normally watch much TV because its passivity makes me feel zombi-fied).
And before I knew it, the unthinkable happened; I fell asleep on the sofa (I must have been watching David Cameron doing a speech or something). I slept, and I slept and I slept ...... until 3.30am when the loud voices on the TV awoke me as quickly as they sent me to sleep.
[Brief interjection: Why, whenever you accidentally fall asleep on the sofa, do you ALWAYS awake to find the weather forecast on the TV? It's an international mystery-type enigma.]
The voices awoke me so quickly in fact, that I jumped out of my skin, and jerked upright causing my iPhone to projectile into the fireplace.
Bloody lucky I didn't have the fire lit then. Imagine how exciting it would have been if the phone had landed in a burning fireplace - I would have had my own personal fireworks show. Excrement! But presenting a twisted glob of metal and plastic to an insurance company might have raised some questions.
So, there I am; undertaking yet another insurance claim to get my iPhone repaired, and I know it is going to take weeks to sort out. And, if that wasn't bad enough, I haven't been able to take any pictures of stuff that is going on because my only camera was my iPhone camera. This means that my blog has morphed from a 'photo-blog' to a 'nick-pictures-off-the-internet-blog'.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I am back to using a friend's borrowed mobile phone until I get a new iPhone. Take a deep breath, and let me introduce the Nokia P900 ..........
Pic.No.2. Nokia P900 (photo nicked off the internet)
Man alive! It is only one step advanced from carrying the battery pack around in a suitcase. I have had to suffer teenagers pointing and laughing at me. It's totally humiliating.
As an aside, I am going to do a quick recap on the gadgets I have killed in the last two years:
One Nokia Arte 8800 mobile phone
One Denon S302 surround sound system
One Casio Exilim digital camera
I am telling you now, one day I reckon that my name is going to become a verb synonymous with the word 'clumsy'; as in 'aww crap, I've done a Dickens and dropped my laptop down the toilet.'
Anyway, I shall let you know how I get on. Have you killed anything recently?