Monday, 3 January 2011

My superbulous Christmas 'oop North'

"So!" I hear you cry, "first you just disappear for days on end, and then reappear without a by-your-leave. What the bloody hell is going on, and what have you been up to?"

Blimey, all I can say is that my blog has all gone a bit back-to-fronty because I am trying to catch up. Yesterday you were reading a post about me returning to Oxford, and today's post is all about what I got up to on Christmas day, following my bingo winning exploits on Christmas Eve.

As you already know, I spent Christmas in Leeds, a city in the middle of that desolate wasteland generally referred to as 'up north'. I was staying with an old university chum called Sarah, and was scheduled to spend Christmas day with her and her family. They are all lovely, but I can't tell what they are saying most of the time because they have got funny accents, so I tend to just smile and nod a lot, and if I really need to communicate, sometimes I mime. 

Christmas day arrived and for the second year running, it was a white Christmas. Well more of a grey-white sludgy Christmas to be precise. You know what I mean; the kind of stuff that is probably inside Paris Hilton's head. It looks sort of pretty, but is too sloppy to build a snowman with.

"It's Chrismas!" I screamed into Sarah's bedroom after first awakening, "when does the action start?"

"Piss off you naus, it's 6.30am" came the sleepy reply.

'That wasn't very peace-on-earth-to-all-men,' I thought to myself as I began pacing up and down to keep myself entertained because northerners don't have entertaining things like the internet.

Three hours later, Sarah made an appearance. "I've got a hangover," she muttered, heading for the fridge and pouring herself a large orange juice.

"What's the plan for today then?" I bellowed.

"We are going to my Auntie Christina's for drinks at 10.30am, then we have a reservation for lunch at midday," Sarah whispered, clutching her head and wandering off to the bathroom.

An hour later we arrived at Auntie Christina's house, and much to my delight, we whiled away an hour drinking a cup of tea, followed by a blow-your-head-off liqueur that tasted like strawberry flavoured cough medicine.... all at 10.30am..... how rad is that?

After leaving Auntie Christina's house, we headed off to a hotel in the Headington area of Leeds for Christmas lunch with Sarah's mum and sister Louise.

Pic.No.1 Haley's Hotel in Headington, Leeds

Man alive it was a good choice. The interior was sumptuous, and if that wasn't enough, they had laid on a carvery so that you could pick exactly what you wanted to eat and legitimately be a complete pig. Not that I would of course..... actually, I can't back that up. 

Pic.No.2 I was going to pretend that this was a picture of the lunch that I had picked from the carvery, but in actual fact, this was a picture of Sarah's lunch

Pic.No.3 In reality, I was far greedier than Sarah, as you can see from this picture of my food which was half consumed when this picture was taken. And I ate it all, except for the Yorkshire Pudding which was like chewing home insulation

Pic.No.4 Look! A picture of me. I am holding a mini Christmas tree and looking blank so that I appeal to all people, no matter what their creed

Pic.No.5 This is Sarah. And yes, that is the champagne menu that you can see in front of her. "Waiter! Bring on the Bolly and don't spare the horses."

So after I had scoffed a lunch that was approximately double the weight of my head, we headed off back to Sarah's mother's house for the best bit of all ..... presents! Woo-hoo! It's not that I am materialistic or anything, but I love the fact that it is Jesus' birthday and yet I snaffle all the pressies.

Pic.No.6 The money shot. That's me with my stash of pressies. Ker-ching!

The cool thing about Sarah and her family is that they generally go to town on the present front, resulting in me receiving some real gems, like a signed photograph of James May from 'Top Gear' (to match my signed photograph of Lord Alan Sugar from 'The Apprentice'), some lavender drawer liners, and a pair of Marks and Spencer pyjamas (I did consider modelling them for you, but then decided it might be too racy. The pyjama bottoms were cropped after all).

So all in all, I had a most marvellous Christmas day. And it was topped off by an evening playing with Louise's new Nintendo Wii. Rather disappointingly, I was rubbish at all the games except for the one where you throw the frisbee for the dog..... I didn't want to be good at that game, I wanted to be good at something 'proper hard' like the jet-skiing game. But it wasn't to be, and Sarah and Louise kept making an 'L' shape with their hands and shouting 'loser' at me.

I hate those Nintendo Wii's. I can't understand why anyone would want one. They are the devil's spawn with ketchup on.

Anyway, ignoring the devil's spawn, tell me my lovelies, what have you been up to this Christmas?

P.S. Before I forget, I want to say congratulations to Ron from 'If I had a Blog' on the arrival of his first grand-daughter Samantha this Christmas. She is gorgeous Ron!

Anne Dickens | The day after yesterday


  1. Why can't I get the image of Sarah Palln chewing home insulation out of my head?? (-:

    That hotel picture is storybook gorgeous btw!!!

  2. Anne my dear, thank you so much! Happy New Year to you. It sounds like you had a wonderful time and were "in the spirit(s)" quite a bit :)

    As for the goodness you can pack it away...who'd a thunk it :)

    The very best to you for the new year and always,


  3. For a minute I thought you said you had lavender coloured drawers from M&S ! Lunch looks soooo civilise & that was a lorra lorra pressies you had.

    When we see wii ads we shout out, " Get a life and do it for real !!!" Not that I do of course - do Salsa or tennis or pingpong etc. I do T'ai Ch - do they do that on the Wii I wonder ?

    Frisbee with the dog sounds good. Perhaps I could teach Dillon who never brings it back. Dillon has no concept that he is a RETRIEVER bless his mushy head

  4. I'm sure you have enough bimbos to be snickering and snide about back on the mother planet, useless royals, gentrified inbreeds for instance, whose sperm donor decided their useless lives,with out having to take cheap shots at Ms. Palin. One thing that can said for SP is nothing was handed to her, she made her own way.

  5. Well I got a Wii for Christmas so now I can get Netflix streamed to my TV and I can tell Comcast (our local cable provider) to go screw themselves.

    I have 2 questions for you? One, why does everyone say British food is so bad? Is it truly vile and just photographs well? Cause it certainly looks good; and two, do all buildings over there are look so British? We some have tudor-looking houses here. Do you have some American looking houses there?

  6. My first comment on any blog ever! You will be so proud of me Annie, unfortunately if is a correction. You really do need to pay more attention tou your surroundings, it's Headingley, not Headington.

    I hope you have found my comment useful.

    Some Northern bird x

  7. Hello Mrs Blogalot! Ha ha! I don't know why you can't get it out your head. I worry about you sometimes! Yeh the hotel was lovely.. it made a great christmas. Happy new year to you by the way x

  8. Eh up Grampy... sounds like you are taking to grandfatherhood like a duck to water!

    Normally I can't pack away the food, so I did myself proud at christmas. Jeans are feeling a bit tight though!

  9. Hiya Bad Penny... yes it was good. I could do it all again! Blimey, do you do Thai Chi? That's impressive. Isn't that the one that looks like Hong Kong Phooey in slow motion?

  10. Hi Grey Lady, I take it you are a Palin supporter?!

    Freedom of speech and all that. I reserve the right to think that SP is narrow minded and poorly educated (she thought Africa was a country for chrissake), just as you are free to dislike our royal family for being 'inbred' and 'useless'.

    We all have our opinions and it is part of life's rich tapestry.

  11. Hiya BB my lovely! You got a Wii? I am bloody jealous... they are pretty good fun!

    In response to your questions; 1. British food can be quite bad if you go somewhere shitty to eat, but when it is done well, it is excellent!
    2. Yeh, most of the buildings do look British and we don't really have any that look American. I think it is because the country is so old, that it has a mish mash of houses from different centuries.

    Anyway, I hear you are coming to Europe! Woo hoo! ... I must answer your email.... I have got a backlog you see!

  12. Hello Some Northern Bird! I am proud of you, and I am also proud to be the first blog that you commented on. Woo hoo!

    You are right - I stand corrected. It was Headingly and not Headington. It's because I live in Oxford you see, and there is an area called Headington here, so I just went on automatic pilot.

    Hopefully see you visiting again soon?! x


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