Blimey, all I can say is that my blog has all gone a bit back-to-fronty because I am trying to catch up. Yesterday you were reading a post about me returning to Oxford, and today's post is all about what I got up to on Christmas day, following my bingo winning exploits on Christmas Eve.
As you already know, I spent Christmas in Leeds, a city in the middle of that desolate wasteland generally referred to as 'up north'. I was staying with an old university chum called Sarah, and was scheduled to spend Christmas day with her and her family. They are all lovely, but I can't tell what they are saying most of the time because they have got funny accents, so I tend to just smile and nod a lot, and if I really need to communicate, sometimes I mime.
Christmas day arrived and for the second year running, it was a white Christmas. Well more of a grey-white sludgy Christmas to be precise. You know what I mean; the kind of stuff that is probably inside Paris Hilton's head. It looks sort of pretty, but is too sloppy to build a snowman with.
"It's Chrismas!" I screamed into Sarah's bedroom after first awakening, "when does the action start?"
"Piss off you naus, it's 6.30am" came the sleepy reply.
'That wasn't very peace-on-earth-to-all-men,' I thought to myself as I began pacing up and down to keep myself entertained because northerners don't have entertaining things like the internet.
Three hours later, Sarah made an appearance. "I've got a hangover," she muttered, heading for the fridge and pouring herself a large orange juice.
"What's the plan for today then?" I bellowed.
"We are going to my Auntie Christina's for drinks at 10.30am, then we have a reservation for lunch at midday," Sarah whispered, clutching her head and wandering off to the bathroom.
An hour later we arrived at Auntie Christina's house, and much to my delight, we whiled away an hour drinking a cup of tea, followed by a blow-your-head-off liqueur that tasted like strawberry flavoured cough medicine.... all at 10.30am..... how rad is that?
After leaving Auntie Christina's house, we headed off to a hotel in the Headington area of Leeds for Christmas lunch with Sarah's mum and sister Louise.
Pic.No.1 Haley's Hotel in Headington, Leeds
Man alive it was a good choice. The interior was sumptuous, and if that wasn't enough, they had laid on a carvery so that you could pick exactly what you wanted to eat and legitimately be a complete pig. Not that I would of course..... actually, I can't back that up.
Pic.No.2 I was going to pretend that this was a picture of the lunch that I had picked from the carvery, but in actual fact, this was a picture of Sarah's lunch
Pic.No.3 In reality, I was far greedier than Sarah, as you can see from this picture of my food which was half consumed when this picture was taken. And I ate it all, except for the Yorkshire Pudding which was like chewing home insulation
Pic.No.4 Look! A picture of me. I am holding a mini Christmas tree and looking blank so that I appeal to all people, no matter what their creed
Pic.No.5 This is Sarah. And yes, that is the champagne menu that you can see in front of her. "Waiter! Bring on the Bolly and don't spare the horses."
So after I had scoffed a lunch that was approximately double the weight of my head, we headed off back to Sarah's mother's house for the best bit of all ..... presents! Woo-hoo! It's not that I am materialistic or anything, but I love the fact that it is Jesus' birthday and yet I snaffle all the pressies.
Pic.No.6 The money shot. That's me with my stash of pressies. Ker-ching!
The cool thing about Sarah and her family is that they generally go to town on the present front, resulting in me receiving some real gems, like a signed photograph of James May from 'Top Gear' (to match my signed photograph of Lord Alan Sugar from 'The Apprentice'), some lavender drawer liners, and a pair of Marks and Spencer pyjamas (I did consider modelling them for you, but then decided it might be too racy. The pyjama bottoms were cropped after all).
So all in all, I had a most marvellous Christmas day. And it was topped off by an evening playing with Louise's new Nintendo Wii. Rather disappointingly, I was rubbish at all the games except for the one where you throw the frisbee for the dog..... I didn't want to be good at that game, I wanted to be good at something 'proper hard' like the jet-skiing game. But it wasn't to be, and Sarah and Louise kept making an 'L' shape with their hands and shouting 'loser' at me.
I hate those Nintendo Wii's. I can't understand why anyone would want one. They are the devil's spawn with ketchup on.
Anyway, ignoring the devil's spawn, tell me my lovelies, what have you been up to this Christmas?
P.S. Before I forget, I want to say congratulations to Ron from 'If I had a Blog' on the arrival of his first grand-daughter Samantha this Christmas. She is gorgeous Ron!
Anne Dickens | The day after yesterday