Thursday, 27 January 2011

I've learnt a new word and it is 'scooting'

Crikey, I am doing a lot of catch-up this week. After having a day off to visit my gorgeous new nephew on Monday, I have spent the rest week trying to get back on top of things. That's what having a job does to you. You can't just go taking time off willy nilly.
Anyway, so that's what my week has been about. And if that wasn't enough, Naughty George decided to embark upon a campaign of continual low-level naughtiness. Take this morning for instance.

I came downstairs to find him dragging his bum around the floor with his front legs. Normally this comical sight would provoke much hilarity from me, but this time he was doing it on my 100% wool Marks and Spencers rug, with a dopey-happy look on his face. The git had dimwittedly turned my favourite rug into the most expensive toilet paper known to dog.

[Interesting fact. Today I learnt that there is actually a verb to describe dogs dragging their bums across the floor. It is called scooting. How cool?]

Pic.No.1. A dog scooting. In order to spare Naughty George's blushes, a body double is depicted

So after I had finished disinfecting my rug and scrubbing out all the doggy skid-marks, I concluded that NG had probably contracted worms because he is rather partial to eating rotting meat out of my neighbour's bins.

There was only one thing for it: A trip to the Pet Shop to buy some worming tablets.

Everything seemed to go swimmingly, except that I got it wrong and accidentally bought worming powder.

As soon as I got home and realised my mistake, my heart sank. NG is not the easiest of dogs to administer medicine to. In fact the only success I have ever had was using pills. I would wrap them up in a slice of ham and he would gulp them down in one go. Except this time I didn't have pills. All I had was worming powder to save my rug from doggy dirt protests.

So I came up with a cunning plan. I made a sandwich with thick slices of turkey, and poured the powder inside. I cut the sandwich in half and waved it in front of NG's face. He went ballistic and excitedly grabbed the half-sandwich from my hand. But instead of wolfing it down, he dropped it carefully onto the floor and sniffed around it.

Then, ever so deftly, he pulled the top layer of bread off, picked up the turkey slice with his front teeth and then shook it around the kitchen to get rid of the powder.

What an absolute git! So not only did NG end up full of turkey sans worming powder, but my kitchen resembled a cocaine den. And to add insult to injury, the worming powder cost £6.10. That mutt has a lot to answer for.

P.S. I haven't forgotten to do my post about the next 5 blog award winners. It is coming soon to a blog near you!


  1. I was going to tactfully suggest worms then you said it. What a relief... it's out there in the open like nits.... memories of the dreaded playground scene- " Yes! everybody my children have nits which makes me assume SO DO YOURS !!!" ( so take that smug look off your faces )

    Wrapping the pills in ham is an age old custon which is practiced in this house but the cats & their extremely sharp teeth have got wise to it. I really must invest in one of those pill dispencer thingies the vet has & shoots said pill down cat's throat. Probably I would manage to choke the cat to death.

    Dillon does this horrible thing where he sits demonstrating on the trampoline.. leans back & grabs his tail between his legs so he's sort of lying on his back with his legs in the air & tail in his mouth- in all the excitement his lipstick pops out - never a good look & we all yell " Put it away Dillon & stop showing off " ( He wouldn't know what to do with it anyway - Golden retrievers don't know how to bonk.

  2. Even worse his anal glands may need expressing.... that will be an interesting one for you... go google... 'expressing your dogs anal glands'.. think it will make you shudder!

  3. Oh know, Poo on the carpet. Ick. Sorry about that. But he is a cute little naughty George. So that has to count for something.

  4. Just like kids and It always cracks me up at the things they will eat, yet give them medicine and they become the pickiest eaters on earth! Rotting meat...sure! way!

    He's still so cute (-:

  5. Love the visual of your kitchen as a cocaine den!

    I too was going to suggest looking at -- or having someone ELSE look at -- anal glands.

    Alfie has his expressed with every hair cut, so about every six weeks, and for Quinn the beagle we have to have him done too, or they scoot across the floor, yes drag their butts. Alfie starts to walk backwards into walls if we have let it go too long, presumably trying to do it himself.

    The whole thing is kinda gross.

    Check my blog later today for follow-up to your award. Writing it now!

  6. Stop by my blog when you have a minute, I have 2 awards for you!

  7. Sadly I must agree with Clare and Gary. NG probably needs his glands attended to. Do NOT attempt to do it yourself. It is gross.

    In the future if you must give NG a powder of some kind, go first to a compounding pharmacy and get buy empty capsules. Fill them with the powder, encase it with liverwurst and NG will gobble it down, none the wiser.

  8. cocaine kitchen? what?


  9. Per Clare: "Expressing" glands...a very deceiving name for a very unpleasant task. I handle this job with my dogs...and I can't imagine the expression on my face when I do.

    Apparently when dogs scoot...they are immune to rug burns :)

  10. Please could I just make it known to everybody that I am going nowhwere near Naughty George's anal glands. I would rather sacrifice my rug.

  11. Very funny. Naughty George is extremely entertaining. Just not for you!

  12. Annie, my huuby Ron says that all you have to do to see if it is an 'anal' problem is to slip on a latex disposable glove and 'feel around' to see if it IS BLOCKED!! That's why HE does it, I can't......
    Just maybe it isn't worms.....better buy the gloves Missy! lol

  13. Gary just been to have his done with his six week bath & nail trim and haircut... another $57... but no scooting!

  14. WORM poo on the carpet, urgh, that's... yukky! How to get a dog to take powder... could you teach him to snort it maybe?

  15. OMG! This was hilarious....and the visual of the kitchen about made me break a rib laughing! I read this out loud in the car to Morgan and his laughter at the post made the drive a little bit - thanks for that. Eh, what's one more gray hair? =) =)

  16. Yep. He needs his anal glands expressed. It's rather gross, so just drop him off at the vet and pick him up later. You don't want to watch.

  17. Hello Val, and welcome! It's always nice to meet new readers... Yeh, I hadn't thought about getting him to snort it that might work ;-)

  18. I'm gonna read this post again (and the next one with the anal glans expressing thing) next time I get the urge to go and buy a puppy!

    A propos of great new words... Someone once told me that the word for when a cat rubs its face on you, it is 'bunting' you - I can find no evidence for this but I so wish it was true!

  19. I'd say give up the rugs and tile the damn house.

  20. Eh up Jim, Ron could be the world expert on scooting, but I tell you now, there is no way that I am putting my hand near Naughty George's arse! I would puke.

  21. Someone should send you the "She Cracks Me Up" award. This was really very funny. Yes, I have seen dogs do that before. But, I have never read about a dog "scooting." You did a great job!



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