Hello Anne's faithful readers! While she is off on vacation, allegedly roughing it in a tent on cold hard ground, she has asked me to guest blog. Woo hoo!My name is Brahm, I live in Edmonton, Canada -- that is our house above, or a reasonable facsimile. I write at http://www.alfredliveshere.com/, which is named for the adorable Alfred, pictured below...
When Annie asked me to fill in, I wondered what the hell to ramble about. She is British, I am Canadian, what do we have in common besides our blogs, our mischievous dogs, our liberal left leanings, our incredible good looks, our addictions to Barbie's pink van and crystal meth? Hmmm...So I have nothing. Then I thought of my visits to the UK, where I loved the history, the architecture, the people, the arts, just everything. Well, everything except the food. The food kinda blew. And worse than the bland boiled battered food, was all the weird food names. What is up with that?
As I love lists in a sick obsessive way, here's ten winners:
1- Yorkshire Pudding: This is not pudding, people! it is batter. What would Bill Cosby say?
2- Clotted Cream: This name is just wrong, and makes everything sound gross. It is sort of whipped cream that wasn't whipped, it just sat there. Ick.
3- Fish and Chips: Nothing wrong there, love these. Of course, batter and deep fry anything and you are gonna win. Like Oreos. Or tempura. Or, I heard recently, butter.
4- Bangers: These are sausages, people. Way less exciting than their name.
5- Toad In The Hole: Food name? No. Porn flick name? Yes.
6- Kippers: oily gutted fish... for breakfast?
7- Bread Pudding: Again, NOT PUDDING!
8- Trifle: never had it, may be delicious, makes me think of the Friends episode where Rachel got pages of a cookbook stuck together and baked meat into the trifle. Ick.
9- Butterfly Cakes: Haven't had these either, are apparently a type of cupcake, how could that be wrong?
10- Spotted Dick: Another tragically bad food name. I mean, really, do people order spotted dick off a menu? Does the waiter giggle?
So there you have it, my superficial, fact-free tourist view of British food. And yes this is coming from Canada, where we put maple syrup on everything, and our closest thing to a national food is poutine. Look it up. It's soggy and messy and gross.
Have a great vacation Anne!
Visit me @ www.alfredliveshere.com
14 comments:
Ok Brahm (and Alfie) that was awesome! =)
I have to admit though...the whole spotted dick thing - kinda gross. Someone really should be off finding a doctor who can treat such a thing rather than visiting a restaurant! *shudder* Of course...what the hell do I know? =)
Jewell
I know, I know, it sounds like some horrible sexually transmitted disease, doesn't it? Who wou.ld order that? Eww..
Oh yeah...it definitely sounds like something that would be on a hooker's menu. Can't say as it would be something I would look for on the menu at Chili's (do they even have those in the UK? I don't even know)
Jewell =)
A perfect post for Annie. Now fry me up some fish 'n' chips and -- oh, wait. Don't they drink warm beer over there, too?
Lol I'm proud to announce I don't eat any of the foods you listed, apart from the occasional Yorks Puds, and in my defence I don't actually like them.
Yeay for cultural differences! :D
At least you didn't mention the Scottish delicacy, deep fried Mars Bars. Yum .... erm NOT. :)
PS Seems you missed all the good restaurants Brahm ;-)
as a fellow canadian, i'll say poutine is far from being gross. you just have to know where to eat it. it's most delicious. and don't believe the rumors: WE-DO-NOT-PUT-MAPLE-SYRUP-ON-EVERYTHING-!!!! well..not almost everything!!
;)~
HUGZ
Hi Brahm - great post! I have had many of those items and you are right...the interpretation of "pudding" went terribly wrong. Even Bill Cosby couldn't sell some of that. The only thing my grandfather didn't put maple syup on...was his corn syup :)
Thanks for the post.
Thanks for the heads up incase I travel there in the future! I have to say that we have some nasty crap too though. Ummm, Sweetbreads comes to mind! Not bread! Although, I don't have any clue where that originated but it is served in the US.
Anne, hope you have a great trip!!
Note to self: Bangers are sausages...go back in time and..
Oh sorry, great post Brahm. Anne left her blog in awesome hands!
I think it is great you cleared this bangers thing up for me. Seriously! Also, Toad in the Hole? I am pretty sure I rented that, by mistake, of course. Just sayin'. Hope Anne is really in a posh hotel!!
Bread pudding isn't a pudding? I beg to differ, sir! Most especially if one pours cold custard over it, when it then becomes a pudding of epicurian delight.
You forgot treacle tarts! It sounds like something they'd serve on an alien planet in Star Trek.
Yikes - treacle tarts? gotta google that - never heard of them. Sounds like something you would scrape off the bottom of a pirate ship!
best Treacle Tarts are made with Golden Syrup...and are delicious with custard!
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