I'm living off the land like a peasant

This living-in-the-countryside-milarky is slowly eroding all traces of civilisation from my life.  Let me explain....

This week, I decided to go and buy some strawberries from my local farm shop. It's called Rectory Farm, and it's an outlet for local Farmers to sell their produce. Apparently, if you shop there you are bit like a Samaritan, because you support local business, and get tastier produce as part of the bargain.

I entered the shop, and approached the lady at the counter.

"A punnet of your finest strawberries please," I asked.

"Here you go," she replied and handed me an empty punnet.

"It's empty," I responded, stating the obvious, and looking at her perplexedly.

"That's because you have to pick your own strawberries," she smiled.

WHAT? Pick my own strawberries?! " What do you think I am, a Russian Serf?" I demanded.

The lady looked unconcerned, "I can have the punnet back," she replied, but that quickly became a non-option as I spotted Izzy's bottom lip starting to quiver.

"Ok, I'll pick my own," I stated, clutching the punnet, grasping Izzy's hand and striding out into the fields muttering under my breath, "I feel like a bloody cart-horse, no a plough, no an agricultural thing."

We followed the signs for the 'strawberry fields' and eventually entered some huge plastic tunnels, under which the strawberries were growing in long furrows (does anyone know what those huge plastic tunnels actually do?). 

Pic.No.1. Izzy holding the strawberries that she harvested from the land

Pic.No.2. Me showing Izzy how to be a proper farmer .... not

So after once living the London high-life, I had now resorted to grubbing around in a field in order to gather my food. You wouldn't get that in the Capital....no sirree.... it would be like walking into your local M&S Foodhall in Twickenham to buy some bacon, only to have the assistant say, "the pig is over there, all you have to do is kill it, and lop the bacon off it's back leg".

So despite the fact that (for a moment at least) I was rueing the loss of my London conveniences, I had to concede that Izzy was at least enjoying herself. And the big red stain around her mouth indicated that she had probably eaten as many strawberries as she had picked.

Ahhh! The joys of foraging for food.... no wonder apes evolved into men.... why on earth would they want to carry on eating berries when they could choose pre-packed bacon?