Coverage of the election results started at 10pm on BBC1, and I decided to watch it in bed.
'Blimey! how decadent." I hear you cry. Yep, that's me. Decadent Dickens.
There is something strangely addictive about election results.......watching mainly unknown MPs win or lose seats at the whim of the voters, and witnessing - live - the fabric of the political landscape being woven...... all terribly exciting.
Exciting or not, by 1am I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I turned off the television and left the results to go on through the night.
When I awoke the next morning, it was with anticipation that I ran downstairs to check the results on the BBC website - I mean, we could have a whole new government!
'So who won?' I hear you cry impatiently.
Drum roll....... dah dahhhhh....................... No one.
Yep, you read right. No one. And I know that as you look at the results below, it looks like the Conservatives won, but they didn't.
|Liberal Democrat ||57||-5||23.0|
The result was, as predicted, a hung parliament, which as you know, means that none of the parties would have enough of a majority to effectively pass laws whilst in power. This is because the two opposition parties could gang together and outnumber the ruling party, effectively blocking their ability to govern properly.
Pic.No.1. The Times summed it up brilliantly - Three leaders go to battle and all end up battered and bruised
'Bloody hell, what happens now?' I hear you cry, 'I mean you can't have a country without any leader at all.'
You are absolutely right about that last point, and whilst I think a couple of months of anarchy would be good fun, I have to acknowledge that it probably wouldn't be sustainable for the longer term.
So what does happen now? Well, this is where things get really screwy. Either Conservative or Labour (the parties who came first and second respectively), must form a coalition with the Liberal Democrats to achieve the majority of seats they need in parliament.
Pic.No.2. Nick Clegg becomes the most powerful man in politcs - whichever party he sides with gets the booty
But oddly, the law states that the current incumbent, Gordon Brown, has first bite at the cherry. So technically (if Labour and the Liberal Democrats do join forces), the UK could end up in a position whereby it is governed by the two parties who lost the election.
What the bloody hell is going on there then? I blinked and seemed to have missed democracy.
So as we speak, the news is telling of furtive talks going on between all three leaders, but as yet there is no real outcome, and Gordon Brown remains ensconsed in Downing Street....... he could end up as the only Prime Minister in history not to have been elected........ twice. I shall keep you updated.