Yep, this week I awoke to the news that Gordon Brown had announced he was dissolving parliament, and that a general election was going to be held on the 6th May.
Oooh, how exciting. For the next month we are going to see three political parties thrashing it out to try and gain (or hold) power after the worst recession since the last worst recession. It's going to be a frenzy of baby-kissing, campaigning, negative campaigning, bus tours, and passionate speeches containing ever more bizarre policy statements....... and the whole debacle will probably be funded by some Lord living on a private Caribbean island.
As we all know, there are three main parties hoping to win the election:
Pic.No.1. Gordon Brown (Labour)
Pic.No.2. David Cameron (Conservative)
Pic.No.3. Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrat)
In order to try and create a bit of a carnival atmosphere, I have picked three very particular pictures of each party leader, because...... I thought you might like to assign a caption to each one based on their past publicity..... have fun.
So, back to the television, and let the theatricals begin - starting with David Cameron - whose opening salvo in the UK election was:
"We're fighting this election for the Great Ignored!" [noble indeed].
With a flourish, he went on to elucidate exactly who constituted the 'Great Ignored': 'Young, old, rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight!' he shouted, waving his arms about for dramatic effect, but looking a bit like Karate Kid before he sorted out his coordination by hopping from leg to leg on a pole.
After listening intently, I thought, is it me? It appears as though every citizen in the UK falls into (at least) one of the above categories, which means that the Great Ignored is everyone, which sounds a tad improbable.
Thinking about it, his approach is quite cunning because it makes the individual feel as though someone is fighting on their behalf, but it didn't fool Izzy who said he was boring.
And so endeth my introduction to the UK General Election. I know it was abrupt, and I was hoping to get some more material from the other political parties, but I have been too busy fighting with Currys Electrical store about my new laptop. Pah. Hopefully I shall have some time this weekend to catch up.
Captions:-
ReplyDeleteGordon Drop Jaw Brown is saying "Look I can bend my thumbs when my hands are together, I learnt this in a cabinet meeting"
David Private School Cameron is saying "I will keep smiling even though the devil has wet right down my arm"
Nick not a hope Clegg is saying "We will need magic to win and as you can see there is nothing in my hnads or up my sleeves"
When ever I see any picture of Gordon Brown, it always reminds me of comic Frankie Boyle's description of him: "He looks like a scrotum that's suffered a stroke."
ReplyDeleteBrown wouldn't even make a decent Borders bank clerk - he's such a dour bastard, with a temper which does not suit his job (or working with other people).