Because, quite frankly, I am a bit of a tight-wad (it cost £3.15 dammit!), I decided to take it back to Tesco and see if I could exchange it.
I awaited my turn in the Customer Service queue, and finally faced a surly looking attendant.
"Hello," I said, "I bought this hairspray, but it doesn't work, so I'd like to exchange it."
She eyed me suspiciously, and asked, "do you have the receipt?"
[Crikey O'Reilly! Do I have the receipt? It's not as though I was trying to exchange a Faberge Egg].
"No." I replied evenly, watching as she eyed me up and down, piercing my outer to core in order to try and assess the criminal tendencies within.
"We don't normally exchange items without a receipt," she stated tersely.
My brow furrowed, and I was starting to feel a little irritated.
" So," I said. "Firstly I only tend to keep receipts for electricals or valuables, not hairspray. Secondly, if I was choosing to pursue a career as a master-criminal, this is hardly the crime of the century is it? I mean can you see me retiring to Marbella on a can of Silvikrin?"
"Certainly madam, if you just go and select a new can from the shelf, we can exchange it here for you, no problem," she replied through gritted teeth.
And so I strutted from Tesco, my head held high, clutching a £3.15 can of hairspray symbolising the victory of the little man over the mighty corporation.
Pic.No. 1. My new can of hairspray ........... oh crap..... I accidentally picked up 'firm hold' instead of 'natural hold'
After getting home, I started reflecting on the possibilities of hairspray crime. If I decided to fraudulently extort cans of Silvrikrin hairspray from supermarkets, I would be a millionaire if I repeated today's process 285,714 times. So maybe hairspray crime does pay?