A trip to the Theatre

What with it being the school holidays 'an all, my friend from up North - Sarah - decided to indulge in some culture by heading south to spend a few days in Oxford.

Being the kind hearted, nay, saintly soul that I am, I had lined up a few things for us to do, starting with a trip to the Theatre on Saturday.

It was a matinee performance of the comedy classic 'Porridge', so the viewing was at 2.30pm. Given that parking is a bit of a nightmare in Oxford, we decided to use the 'park and ride' [for the US readers, a 'park and ride' is a huge carpark outside a city centre where you leave your car, and get a bus into the city centre].

Pic.No.1. Redbridge Park and Ride 

"Are you sure about this?" I asked Sarah, as I parked my car in location F3, "it means that we are going to have to get on a bus.... with random members of the general public."

"Don't be daft," replied Sarah, striding in the direction of, and embarking, a two-storey bus. I followed close behind and approached the driver; "Excuse me, would it be possible to upgrade to business class?" I asked the confused-looking chap behind the wheel.

"Ignore her," intervened Sarah, pushing money into the driver's hand and dragging me inside the bus.

Pic.No.2. Me on a bus

Unfortunately, we had chosen the bus that took the long route into Oxford, which in turn necessitated a mad dash down the main shopping street in order to get to the theatre in time. But luckily, we arrived with just enough time to collect our tickets and enter the auditorium.

Pic.No.3. Hot-footing it down Cornmarket Street to the theatre

We had booked the cheap seats, but before the curtain rose, I spotted some empty seats in the expensive bit, so we snook down, and voila! A perfect view of the stage.

 Pic. No. 4. Quick! There are some empty spaces in the expensive bit

"We shouldn't do this," Sarah hissed at me, "it's fraud."

"No it's not. You are looking at it all wrong," I whispered back, "Firstly, the theatre's overheads aren't increased by us moving to the expensive seats. Secondly, we are far more likely to enjoy the experience if we are sitting here...... and are therefore more likely to return to other performances. Don't forget, repeat business is king."

"Ummmm," sighed Sarah, still looking a bit dubious as the lights dimmed and the stage lit up.

Pic.No.5. The curtain opens

The show was ok, which I agree is a little nondescript. If I was to rate it out of five stars, I would give it three. It was moderately amusing, the performances were good, but it just didn't ...... what's the word? ........sparkle.... or make me laugh out loud, which is generally an intrinsic factor in any comedy.

Pic.No.6. The actors performing

Plus, I got told off for taking the photograph above. An usher came running down the aisle and politely told me that photography wasn't allowed.

"Eh?" I queried, "I read the signs on the door into the auditorium, and it said that 'flash' photography isn't allowed, and I'm not using a flash."

"Well, since then it's been changed to cover all photography," the usher whispered, starting to get a little flustered because people were starting to tut at her.

"No problem, I'll stop taking pictures," I hissed back, sparing the poor girl further embarrassment - it wasn't her fault that management hadn't updated the signs.

And so endeth our afternoon at the theatre. We need to get home quick, we are out to see a live band this evening....... more to come!