"Have you got a dress?" she typed.
"Yeh, course I have, stop worrying."
"Ummmm, have you got shoes?" came the reply.
At which point, my metaphorical car screeched to an abrupt halt. "Errrrm, no actually." I responded sheepishly.
"You are bloody useless, go and and get them now....... you're not leaving it until the last minute," came the reply.
So, without a by-your-leave I was thrown to the mercy of the Oxford Christmas-shopping throngs. It was 1pm, and I quickly decided that I couldn't face venturing into the city centre, and so selected a more sedate retail park, in a suburb called Cowley.
Three large clothes-stores later, things were not looking good. For some reason, all the stores had decided to stock shoes more suited to a Madame's boudoir than a ball in Battersea.
Pic.No. 1 Oh dear, things were deteriorating on the shoe front
'No worries,' I thought to myself, a trip to 'Next' in a retail park not too far away, was sure to fix my shoe woes.
Pic. No. 2 The Next store in Cowley
Sure enough, after perusing the dazzling array of shoes, I finally found a pair I liked - black sling-backs with a small rose on the toe.
"Sorry, we don't have them in a size 5," an unconcerned looking assistant said after I asked to try them on.
Sacre bleu! Things were going from bad to worse, I had run out of options, and it was now 3.30pm.
In desperation, I texted a friend; "Help me! I need shoes.... where are they?"
A text beeped on my phone; "Go to Bicester Village, loads of designer shops." Inspired!
As I pulled out the carpark, I noticed the car in front, with a slogan across the back bumper; 'Mazda specialist call 01865 8***** for an experienced mechanic'
Pic.No. 3 There's nothing like proudly advertising your workmanship
Thirty minutes later, I pulled into Bicester Village (a designer outlet park), and it finally appeared that my woes were at an end.Yummy, lots of lovely designer clothes and shoes.
Pic. No. 4 Designer shop in Bicester Village
Ok, ok, I admit it. Two hours after arriving, I had got a bit carried away, and I was the proud owner of a new balldress........ but still no shoes...... and it was getting on for 6.30pm.
'Concentrate, you can do this....' I muttered in an attempt to keep myself motivated in the face of adversity.
I came up with a strategy - don't even go into clothes shops, stick with shoe shops. Brilliant! But bit by bit I eliminated every style of shoe; too high, too clunky, too pointy, too many straps, wrong colour.........and my options were starting to look limited.
I NEED SHOES! HOW HARD CAN IT BE? The shops were all starting to make preparations for closing, so I needed to make a decision fast, and I did make a decision fast - a pair of black strappy sandals. Not the perfect choice for a green dress, but still quite nice............ and so my mission came to an end, six hours after I tenuously threw myself at the mercy of the shops.
So, do you want to see what I bought? Looky here .............
Pic.No. 5 The holy grail - ball shoes
Pic.No. 6 Green silk ball dress
Pic.No. 7 Dress detailing
So what do you think, did I do well for an emotionally backward shopper?!