Blimey, it's like the Midsomer Murders living in Forest Hill in a 16th Century house [have a sneaky look 1, and sneaky look 2]. If it isn't one supernatural occurrence, it's another, and quite frankly, I have better things to do with my time than have a face-off with a ghost. On top of that, being an engineer I don't actually believe in them so it is quite time-consuming working out logical explanations for 'random doings'.
The previous inexplicable phantasmal incidents include:
Random flock of frogs
Dead bloke in my back garden
Aliens trying to beam me up
As if that wasn't enough, Johnny Ghost was obviously upset about my disbelieving and decided to up the ante with a proper 'mano a mano' spook-fest.
"What happened you poor thing?" I hear you cry.
Well...... sit back, make yourself comfortable and lend me your ears [heeeu..... hummm..... I clear my throat].
"It goes something like this," I begin in a sinister Cornish accent (all ghost stories should be told in a sinister Cornish accent, it's the rule).
"I was getting ready to go out and was choosing which clothes to wear. As girls often wont, I laid my clothes on the bed and positioned a necklace on top to see if it matched. I nodded and smiled inwardly to myself at my adeptness in selecting that particular necklace / top combo. After a quick shower, I returned to the room and was just about to get dressed when I noticed that the necklace had gone.
All that remained was the black top folded in exactly the same way as I had left it. Wuuuuooooaaaah! I exclaimed. That necklace was definitely there a minute ago! .... or was it? ..... yes it was, I remember getting it from the other bedroom........ so where is it then?
I searched everywhere and then decided to give up and find something else to wear. As I picked up the top to put it away, I realised that it felt quite heavy and one of the arms fell down as I lifted it.
Cor blimey guv'ner. This is really weird - the necklace had been stuffed into one of the arms of the top, and then the top had been refolded to look like it hadn't been moved.
Ok, it was pretty weird all round, but it got me thinking that ghosts aren't what they used to be. In the olden days, they used to do cool stuff like wander around your house clinking their chains and pelting your house with rocks. Because we live in a nanny-state society with an emphasis on dumbing down, even ghosts seem a bit lacklustre and unwilling to put the effort into properly scaring the unsuspecting punter. It is a sad reflection on modern values.