"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64."
Well here I am at the grand old age of 39. I had completely forgotten that it was my birthday until I turned on my computer and my inbox was full of birthday wishes and my Skype was going crazy with greetings (mainly from Chinese factories who want to supply my business to be fair). I felt really popular for a minute or two until I realised that Skype and Facebook remind people that it is your big day. Ho hum.........
Thinking about it, today is a crap day for a birthday. Firstly having a birthday on the 28th means that everyone is skint because it is the end of the month. Then throw Monday into the equation. Who wants to go out celebrating on a Monday night? No one. So instead, I am going to commemorate this momentus day by teaching you some useful latin phrases that you can impress your friends and colleagues with;
I'll get you, you wascally wabbit!
Te capiam, cunicule sceleste!
I have a catapult. Unless you give me all of your money, I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
Catapultam habeo. Nisis pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
If you need any more helpful latin phrases, please just ask........ and before I go and buy a pipe and warm my slippers by the fire, I want to leave you with this thought; birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most, live the longest.
Diem natalem felicum mihi! (happy birthday to me!)