Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Quantitative easing is the way forward

I was looking out of the window at the torrential rain, wondering why my hoover has stopped working, and listening to the cheery news on Radio 4 today that Britian has now incurred record levels of national debt. Apparently this month we have topped the £800 billion mark, and the badger that killed the cat was £13 billion of 'quantitative easing' last month.

Now is it me, or does quantitative easing sound like a bloody brilliant idea? The general principle seems to be that you spend all your money on having a great time, until you suddenly realise that you are skint. So you pop off to the Bank of England and say, "'ere Mervyn," print us a couple of million quid will ya, I'm a bit hard-up."

"Nah probs," says Merv winking, "here you go. Enjoy!" handing over the swag in black briefcases.

Now my question is, how do I take advantage of this quantitative easing at Baumhaus? Without a shadow of a doubt if someone bunged us a few million quid free of charge, our bottom line would look absolutely fantastic, we could pay ourselves large bonuses for having such a great idea, and even better, have a lie in every day. It's a win-win-win situation! My favourite! I can't believe that Prime Ministers didn't think of it before now.

Goodbye. I am just off to plan my retirement as a millionaire. After being quantitatively eased, I am off to Nigeria to nab £26 million in unclaimed inheritance. So long suckers.........

2 comments:

  1. Come on Anne, admit it, at least one person in the Dickens familly must have thought 'quantitave Easing' was what happened after a bad curry.

    Phil

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeh. That'll be Phil then. If I remember rightly, he also asked me what party was in power last week. I told him it was the Fairy Rainbow Party, and he replied, "oh yeh, I've heard of them, that's probably why the country is doing so well."

    ReplyDelete

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