Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Quantitative easing is the way forward

I was looking out of the window at the torrential rain, wondering why my hoover has stopped working, and listening to the cheery news on Radio 4 today that Britian has now incurred record levels of national debt. Apparently this month we have topped the £800 billion mark, and the badger that killed the cat was £13 billion of 'quantitative easing' last month.

Now is it me, or does quantitative easing sound like a bloody brilliant idea? The general principle seems to be that you spend all your money on having a great time, until you suddenly realise that you are skint. So you pop off to the Bank of England and say, "'ere Mervyn," print us a couple of million quid will ya, I'm a bit hard-up."

"Nah probs," says Merv winking, "here you go. Enjoy!" handing over the swag in black briefcases.

Now my question is, how do I take advantage of this quantitative easing at Baumhaus? Without a shadow of a doubt if someone bunged us a few million quid free of charge, our bottom line would look absolutely fantastic, we could pay ourselves large bonuses for having such a great idea, and even better, have a lie in every day. It's a win-win-win situation! My favourite! I can't believe that Prime Ministers didn't think of it before now.

Goodbye. I am just off to plan my retirement as a millionaire. After being quantitatively eased, I am off to Nigeria to nab £26 million in unclaimed inheritance. So long suckers.........


  1. Come on Anne, admit it, at least one person in the Dickens familly must have thought 'quantitave Easing' was what happened after a bad curry.


  2. Yeh. That'll be Phil then. If I remember rightly, he also asked me what party was in power last week. I told him it was the Fairy Rainbow Party, and he replied, "oh yeh, I've heard of them, that's probably why the country is doing so well."


LinkWithin Related Posts

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...