Skiving gits

Every Friday afternoon we have an office and warehouse clean-up which everyone hates doing and they keep badgering me to employ a cleaner. But obviously, because I am tight, I don't.

Picture the scene today - there I was, beavering away with Henry the hoover, when I realised that no-one else appeared to be cleaning. So I went on a stealth mission and as I went out the back approaching the canteen, I heard raucous laughter.

Pic 1. Steve started the skiving by buying chocolate brownies

The bloody tinkers had all gone into the canteen and were scoffing some chocolate brownies that Steve had brought back from the supermarket. It was an outrage! why did he bring back chocolate products when he knows that I don't like chocolate?! And another thing, what were they all doing back here, when they were supposed to be cleaning?

Pic 2. Juan and Hazel trying to look 'sprung'

Drastic action was needed. I marched into the canteen and shouted "look shifty! you have been sprung skiving!" Then I took some pictures of their attempts to look shifty, but they were all pretty poor to be honest. They just ended up looking a bit hang-dog mixed with bewildered.

One other thing that may need some explanation - you might have noticed a sticker on Juan's trouser-leg and there is a story behind that. Juan normally prides himself on being 'Mr Efficient', frequently bragging in his London accent "I nevva forget to action my customer requests, me." Well this week, he managed to 'overlook' shipping a customer's pallet that was supposed to be urgent. After beating himself up about it for an hour, we decided to try and make him feel better. So we made a sticker for him saying "I am a Div."