Dead dog on your hands? You've come to the right place

I was sitting at home the other night - contemplating Naughty George as he lay honking in his bed - and wondering what I would do with him if he ever died. I mean, it just seems so wasteful to lob his lifeless body over the back fence, or even bury it as is some people's wont.

Same with roadkill ...... and just leaving it lying there. It's not right, especially when there is a recession on. I would go so far as to say that in these financially trying times, I often feel a bit peckish when I happen upon a squirrel with a tyre track down it's face. [Note to self: maybe don't disclose this publicly].

It seems like we have this vast resource of dead animals and we just aren't tapping into it as we should. We should all be rallying around in these times of need and viewing our deceased pets as potential revenue sources. For example, I just typed into google; "can I make bio-diesel from my dead dog?"

Admittedly, no-one actually came forward saying they wanted to turn their pet dog into bio-diesel.

BUT, I did find a very interesting article in the respected journal 'Scientific American'. It was about a bunny epidemic in Sweden, where they dealt with it by capturing all the bob-tailed fluffies, and turning them into bio-diesel (I am assuming that there was probably some gory stuff in between). Not only that, but they subsequently diversified into cows, deer and dobbins. [Read it here: burning bunnies for biofuel?]

I am telling you - embracing dead pets is like discovering a seam of oil in your back garden (taps side of nose for added gravitas).

Anyway, I digress. Before discovering that Naughty George could power my car if he died, I also explored more frivolous avenues. Like maybe turning him into a fashion accessory.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that someone had already cornered the market.

I am not kidding. I found a company who's mission is; 'to turn your dead pet into something more beautiful than the live version."

That'll be American then.

And because I am kinder than Mother Theresa (but with a better fitting bra), I have included some photographs for you ............

Pic.No.1. A pair of ear-rings made from chicken's feet. The red in them would accessorise nicely with a pair of Laboutins

Pic.No.2 Here, a pair of pigeon's wings are welded onto a stylish headband. The ladies will be pondering that. Dead bird is last year's Chanel

Pic.No.3 A dead fox scarf. Perfect for those chilly mornings when you are doing the school run. The mouth exactly fits a can of coke. Beware, some mothers look at you like you are a bit screwy

Pic.No.4 A dead dormouse bracelet on a hairy woman's arm. An ideal present for new employees. You open it's legs up, and inside is a copy of the the company's mission statement

Pic.No.5 Dead animals can be used to motivate. Every employer should award this rosette to enthusiastic employees. The mouse bursting out suggests 'energy and commitment to the company'

Pic.No.6 Outside of work, you really can't get much better than this dead rat hairband. Why conform?

Pic.No.7 A dead mouse that has been made into a purse. Ingenious! Especially with the squashed facial expression

Pic.No.8 This guinea pig was innovatively made into a hair comb. I'm gonna wear it on the next school run to see if anyone says anything. Surely people can't ignore a deranged guinea pig on my head?

Pic.No.9 And the piece d'resistance ...... squirrels who have been made into decanters. They look some much better that way than scampering around in the wild

So dahlink, do you have any useful suggestions for how to utilise your dead pets?