Friday, 25 March 2011

I want to buy your blog - Rant Alert

Phew, another week over. Not only that, but spring is now well underway, and the sun was shining all day today. But don't worry, I went to great lengths to ensure that it didn't taint my cadaverous pallor (I am even thinking of investing in a balaclava).


Pic.No.1 Spring has arrived! And here is a gratuitous picture of some daffodils that my daughter Izzy picked, even though they have nothing to do with this post whatsoever

'So if your post isn't about daffodils, what is it about?' I hear you cry.

Good question, and let me elucidate. I was sat at my laptop today, beavering away and minding my own business, when suddenly an email plopped into my inbox.

It immediately grabbed my attention because the subject was 'I want to buy your blog'.

Being the mercenary entrepreneurial type that I am, the dollar signs immediately appeared in my eyes. I opened the email with trepidation ...................... and read the following missive:

Hi, I am interested in purchasing your blog.

I represent a firm that purchases entire blogs, that is, the URL as well as the content of the blog. We use these blogs to improve the search engine rankings of our clients.

Our firm requires that the blog has correct English and grammar. It must have original content (not duplicate content from other blogs or websites) as well as having no pornography or other distasteful content. In addition, the blog must be able to be found on Google.

If you are interested in selling your blog(s), please reply with your URL(s) as well as your asking price(s). An actual offer for your blog would happen after a detailed analysis of it showed that it met all of our criteria.

Below is the typical price that we are prepared to pay (in US dollars) based on the PageRank of your blog:

PageRank 1 - from $200. to $300.
PageRank 2 - from $250. to $400.
PageRank 3 - from $340. to $575.
PageRank 4 - from $475. to $700.
PageRank 5 - from $625. to $1,000.

You can contact me at paul@evolvedmanagement.com

Thank you,

Paul,

Evolved Management

After reading his email I was strangely irritated by it (and I am pretty hard to wind-up). Then I read it again and I became outraged. The cheeky fucking bloody bastard..... (look he made me swear). Basically he was saying that he was going to check that my blog met his terribly high standards of grammar and his Google ranking criteria, and if he acknowledged that it did, then I would be the lucky recipient of $200.

$200 for two and half years of original content.

That equated to 30 cents per post ($200 divided by 664 blog posts).

Cheeky bastard squared.

Not only that, he had TOTALLY failed to understand his market. Bloggers don't write blogs so that they can ultimately sell them for cash; they do it because they love connecting and making friends with top-banana people in the blogging community. I tell you now, if Paul had been standing in front of me, I would have bopped him on the nose.

Anyway, because I am business-like, I decided to reply to him ...................

Hello Paul,

You want to buy my blog? Yes, I am interested and I definitely think that my blog would help your clients improve their search engine rankings.

My URL is: http://www.thedayafteryesterday.co.uk/, and I think I meet most (if not all) of your criteria, except for my 'dogging' post, but I could easily delete that to appeal to your clients. Because I am stickler for detail, you will find that even on the dogging post, my English and grammar is correct.

When you say my blog must be 'found on Google', what exactly do you mean? Which keywords are important? My blog ranks highly on the search terms 'Mental Dog', 'Spaghetti Bolognese' and 'Sick Tattooes'.

Please let me know when you would like to undertake a detailed analysis, so that we can conclude the sale.

Kind regards

Anne

But blimey; Paul didn't bother replying, which makes me think that maybe my blog isn't even worth $200. That's enough to dent a gal's ego. 

So my dear bloggers, if you fancy sending an email to 'Paul from Evolved Management' requesting to buy his business for $250 (but make sure you check he is running his business properly beforehand),  his email is: paul@evolvedmanagement.com.

 Pic.No.2 Here is a picture of a bug in a daffodil

P.S. the picture of the bug in a daffodil is totally unrelated to this post. I just wanted an excuse to play with my Canon Powershot S95 because I am still in love with it.

P.P.S Am I right to be outraged by Paul? Or blimey, do I have anger-management issues? I am just off to practice breathing slowly (in between each sip of wine).

21 comments:

  1. I love that you managed to make even this a funny blog post. I would have probably just deleted it under Spam.

    I wonder what blogger with such a high page ranking would sell their blog for so little?

    And you're right. We blog to connect with awesome people -- like you, my friend. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You could nip over to Arizona where they are based for a one to one meeting, assuming of course that they paid.

    As Arizona used to be full of cowboys I rest my case, at least one has survived and has email!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. If I take deep breaths between sips of wine, I pass out. LOL

    Paul sounds like he's running a SCAM to me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. bloody hell Robert, how do you know they are in Arizona? You are a tech-whizz you are!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awwww, Empty nester - you make laugh. I have got this image in my head of you having a sip of wine, breathing deeply and then passing out! You doughnut

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am curious, also. How do you know this Paul is from Arizona? I tried to Google, Bing and NOTHING.
    Seems not very evolved of him to expect you to be found on Google when he is nowhere to be found. I'd be pissed too. I haven't hardly made any blogger friends/connections yet I think my meager efforts are worth more than 200 bucks. (well probably not to anyone else but me) Still, I'd be ticked.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This has to be a scam, right? Why would a company buy a blog at all? This doesn't make any sense to me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think your spot is priceless kiddo. That man needs to talk a long walk off a short pier.

    Yet somehow I still feel snubbed he hasn't contacted me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. hmmm wonder what mine would be worth? been online since 2004 I think. That is a lot of bull postings. Meh, I will just keep my little corner of the cyberworld all to myself, and whoever cares to link to me. :) I like it that way.

    By the way, thank you for coming over to my place. and adding me to your blogroll. ;) I appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Crap the dizzy ap. If your blog isn't worth $200, then I doubt i could get a lollipop for mine. Which is completely insulting considering that i definitely think it's worth at least a King Size Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. But don't offer me that because i'm really hungry and i've been working really hard on my blog and i feel like i'd really regret it once i ate the peanut butter cups and had nothing to show for it. i'm leaving now, before i sell for a tootsie roll. that would down right pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hehe That was good. And you so deserve request as I'm always googling Spaghetti and dogs and you are always number 1.

    A

    P.s The picture on my blog was of my dad and daughter lol. I still have luscious black locks.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ok you nutter...answer this for me...how far, HONESTLY, is a swear word or a glass of wine from your lips? *raises eyebrow at you* LMAO!!!

    PS...this is also to remind you that you can't keep hiding in London...you owe me an email still! LOL =) Muwah! xo =)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anne you are definitely an original - if ever I need someone to send a snotty letter with style. I will contact you.

    Re breathing between sips of wine, you have to get the balance right, twice the quantity of wine to one good breath is a formula that works well for me.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Actually the company that registered the domain is in Arizona!! I should have been more exact.

    Still worth a trip though!!

    Here are the details
    Shows all the traits of a dodgy company.

    Registrant:
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.
    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States

    Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
    Domain Name: EVOLVEDMANAGEMENT.COM
    Created on: 15-Dec-10
    Expires on: 15-Dec-12
    Last Updated on: 11-Jan-11

    Administrative Contact:
    Private, Registration EVOLVEDMANAGEMENT.COM@domainsbyproxy.com
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.
    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States
    (480) 624-2599 Fax -- (480) 624-2598

    Technical Contact:
    Private, Registration EVOLVEDMANAGEMENT.COM@domainsbyproxy.com
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.
    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States
    (480) 624-2599 Fax -- (480) 624-2598

    Domain servers in listed order:
    NS5.LASVEGAS.NET
    VHOST5.LASVEGAS.NET

    ReplyDelete
  15. First and foremost Ms.Annie, that daffodil pic is fabulous! I want a Canon!
    As far as Paul goes, unless you ARE in the market to sell your blog (which I hope you are not!), if you don't recognize the 'sender' delete immediately!!! You don't need the aggravation.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Damn cheek of the man! Yours is one of the most eloquent and best written blogs what I read...Hmm I guess that rules mine out straight away!
    Stuff it - your blog is worth more than that. Maybe you could try your luck on eBay?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ha ha I love when you email these muppets back... makes my $20 / month for my dog travel agency seem quite good now!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Fun post!

    And I am insulted, that rat bastard did not offer to buy my blog. I guess he likes you more than me.

    Maybe it was the gay thing. Or the fact that I use words like "crap" and "Charlie Sheen".

    Or my part-time job dancing on a pole late at night...

    Rat bastard likes you more than me!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I only wish my blog were popular enough to warrant a spam email asking to buy it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Bloody Hell ! What about your post on the caption comp for Izzy's dolls house people...that was a tad dodgy ? Had Paul seen that & read all the captions ? Thought not.
    I'll sell my blog. Then start a new one as I want to change its name anyway to " Waxing Lyrical "

    ReplyDelete

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