Monday, 24 January 2011

I went AWOL for a good reason.... the birth of my new nephew!

I can hear you now; 'you don't ring, you don't tell me you love me, you don't send me flowers, and you haven't told me about the final five blogs that made it to your shortlist of top ten fave blogs'.

You are probably thinking that I am a chancer and a scoundrel for reneging on my promise to post my final shortlist yesterday, but before my sloppiness necessitates a dodging of flung rotten tomatoes, can I just point out that I had a good excuse.

.................. my dog ate it. Ha ha! No he didn't really! That was just me amusing myself. In a public forum. And now I probably look like a nob. Although I wouldn't put it past Naughty George eating the shortlist if I left it lying around. Yeh, that was an attempt to vindicate myself by blaming my dog.

What really happened is that in the early hours of 21st January, I got a text from my heavily pregnant cousin, Jane (the one I spent New Year's Eve with), and it said:

"OMG. Been in labour since 9pm last night. Heavy stuff started around 1am. My waters broke and flooded the ward. I've just had the most intense three hours of pain ever. After two attempts at epidural I am now saved. 8cm dilated and not long now xxx"

Bloody hell! She was texting me whilst in the latter stages of labour. She must have the constitution of Attila the Hun.

Anyway, not long after her text, she was rushed into theatre for an emergency cesarean-section because the baby was in distress. I didn't know any of this until after the event, but all's well that ends well. Mitchell Owen was born at 7.12am, and mother and baby were fine. Well almost ...... shortly after her operation I received another text from Jane:

"Shit, I am in pain. I feel like a clubbed seal. Do you think you and Izzy may get to pop in for a visit? Would love to see you x"

So that is the reason why I couldn't do my top ten fave blogs shortlist. I was hot-footing it up to Loughborough to see my cousin and her new baby. And that's where I have been for the last couple of days. And, as you can imagine, I couldn't post because I was covered in plop and puke.

But because I am kind (Like Mother Theresa, except that I apply more make-up), I have got some photographs for you.

Pic.No.1. This is Mitchell just after he was born. He's gorgeous. He didn't even look like a skinned rabbit

Pic.No.2. This is my lovely cousin Jane holding a super-tiny Mitchell. Well not that tiny because he was a healthy 7lb 10oz at birth. But even so, he looks all cutely scrawny and cries like a lamb

Pic.No.3. The aneasthetic must have affected Jane somewhat, because this is the picture she took of me and Mitchell. I just don't look good all blurry and cut in half

Pic.No.4. I complained about the blurry cut-in-half picture, so she took another one. Which was also blurry although this time I wasn't cut in half. Don't you think the blur makes me look younger? And did you spot the dog in the bottom right-hand-side of the picture looking hungrily at the baby? That dog is called Roy.

Pic.No.5. This is Mitchell asleep on his Daddy's (aka Martin) chest. I love the way you can see his tiny feet poking out

I have to say, I was smitten by Mitchell, and Jane and Martin were completely natural parents.

Unlike me. Turn back the clock five years. When Izzy was first born, the midwife did an obligatory home visit and and said, quote; "you are holding that baby like a rugby ball."

As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, Naughty George had been ferreting around in the bins and had dug out an old soiled (and particularly ploppy) nappy of Izzys. He ran into the living room (where I was trying to impress the midwife) and proceeded to rag it manically around the room, spraying mouldy baby crap all over the place. It was all I could do to stop her from calling Social Services.

He's got a lot to answer for that dog.

So, what do you think of my new nephew, Mitchell?


  1. He's gorgeous and I think blurry is an improvement!

  2. he definitely has his father's hair.

    congratulations! he's beautiful :)

  3. aww I'm blubbing now coz it's my boy's birthday & he had sticky out feet too ! ( that's all that showed up in his scans - sticky out feet )

    I don't think the picture went wrong ... I think you were trying to dart out of the way.

    HOW THE BLOODY HELL DOES A WOMAN IN LABOUR MANAGE TO TEXT ??? Oh ! It's all changed from my day xxx

  4. Cute. So small. Enjoy your nephew.

  5. NG, NG, NG - what to say about NG! I guess the fact that he didn't bring the diaper in the room in front of the midwife and began rolling in it...could be some sort of off color kind of improvement. Unless of course the midwife had flying baby crap flung in her eye, then...not so much. =)

    The blurriness...not so much an improvement, but a miracle that your head is talking so fast that you come out blurry and yet little Mitchell....clear as a bell. =)

    One other quick thing that came to mind as I was reading? "She must have the constitution of Attila the Hun." Yeah...if grand ole' Attila was hopped up on the good shit. =)

    He's beautiful, because boys are allowed to be beautiful at that age. He has plenty of time to grow into handsome later....much, MUCH later!

    Congrats to everyone...even you, you blurry talking head! *snort* Love you! =) xoxo Muwah!

  6. Congratulations, he is perfect!

  7. Congratulations Auntie Annie!!! And Mitchell is a cutie for sure!

  8. He is gorgeous. Mum looks great after a CS.

    (My overies are aching. No, no more... I still remember the pain from the last one 3 yrs ago!)

    Great choice of name too. :)

    Don't tell the new parents but in a few years time they will be fed up of this conversation....
    "Mitchell (enter surname here)"
    "First name?"
    "Mitchell is the first name!"

    I speak from experience LOL


  9. Hi!
    I am sorry but I have to delete your entry on the Meet Me on Monday linky because you did not participate and post your questions and answers in your post!
    I would love to have you join so please come back once you have your Meet Me On Monday post completed!

  10. When our first kiddo was born our two dogs thought that fetching a dirty diaper from the trash and having a snack of it can was the epitome of fine dining. We put jalapeno juice in the dirties for awhile. They decided to move on to more tasty things after a couple of those. You nephew is a real cutie.

  11. Congrats on being an auntie. Your delay gives you time to put me in your top fav posts!

  12. Mitchell is a handsome little dude, congrats to you and the whole family!

    And I totally would have believed that the dog are your homework.

  13. I love babies. Couldn't eat a whole one, though.

  14. Wonderful little nephew that you have...but now you have a mission! That mission is: spoil him rotten, twist his mind so he becomes as cool as you!

    PS. If she can text during labor, I'm thinking you can suspect her anytime she texts you...she might be having a big plop, having sex, or gawd knows what...just say'n

  15. Congratulations - it's a baby. Oh, no - you knew that already. No, I mean it - congratulations!
    And in case you're wondering who this idiot commenter is, I came over via Fran's blog some days ago and bookmarked yours.


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