This weekend, I had Izzy's Saturday morning blocked out for her fourth party in two weeks.
"Izzy, your social life is verging on hedonisitic," I exclaimed, putting on her must-have mini Ugg boots.
"I know," she answered blithely. "I want my Next fake fur jacket too," she added, turning to the side as she looked at herself in the mirror.
"Blimey, it wasn't like this in my day," I muttered under my breath, 'we were lucky to be clothed in sackcloth.'
So, at 10.30am, I arrived at the Whizz Kidz venue in Thame, and spotted a big climbing frame clad with rope mesh and containing slides, swings and ballpits within.
'Aaah!' I thought to myself when I saw it. 'From prior experience, I know that you can slot a child in a hole in the side, and they don't pop out again for two hours. Marvellous.'
I duly picked up Izzy, popped her through a hole in the mesh and then went to meet my friend Sam, who had the misfortune to be running the show.
"Hiya Sam!" I shouted, spotting her across the room.
"Oh hi, you made it." she said.
"Yeh I did, but I completely forgot to buy Honey [her daughter] a birthday present," I added.
"You are majorly crap," Sam replied.
"Yep, can't complain about that," I added. "To get me off the hook, I was just going to bring a tag, and stick it on a present that someone else had bought."
"Why didn't you? Attack of the morals?" Sam asked.
"No, I didn't have a tag......." I answered dejectedly.
"Oh well.... fancy a coffee?" Sam replied. And so we sat and quaffed coffee, watching with amusement the child-induced devastation of the surrounding area.
Pic.No.1 Honey's birthday cake
Pic.No.2. Sophie and Izzy delicately nibble jam sandwiches
Pic.No.3. Honey is sooooooo going to be a papparazzi photographer when she grows up
Party over, I thanked Sam, and headed home for what was promising to be a nice quiet weekend where I could catch up on the mayhem of the week........ bliss.