Friday, 27 November 2009

Secret Squirrel

To keep myself entertained throughout the long pluvial days, I have started two new business ventures which are, unfortunately, so top secret, that if I told you what they are, I would have to kill you.

In fact, they are so covert, that I have codenamed them 'Secret Squirrel X' and 'Secret Squirrel Y'.

 Pic. No. 1 My new business ventures

Working on projects with codenames has given me an unique insight into why the Army call their missions things like 'Operation Mislay' instead of 'Operation find Osama Bin Laden and his WMD.' It's because codenames are cooler than simply saying what you intend to do, and add more gravitas to the situation.

So, in line with my new surreptitious projects, I have started referring to myself as Agent Dickens, and have taken to carrying a water pistol in my inside pocket. I also do a forward roll everytime I enter my front door...... not quite sure why, but I have seen them do it on CSI Miami.

Pic. No. 2 Agent Dickens, commander of Operation Secret Squirrel 'X' and 'Y'

Anyway, I really need to go and start work.

I have blatantly written this posting because I have got to a hard bit of the project where I need to talk to my lawyer about patents. Coincidentally, I have also suddenly found at least another 1000 'work avoidance' matters that need my urgent attention before I can address the contracts for Secret Squirrel 'X' and 'Y'.

So I am just off to clear the leaves from my front flower bed...........!


  1. I feel an avoidance list coming on:

    1. Placing contents of cutlery draw in "use" order.

    2. Placing contents of cutlery draw in "size" order.

    3. Placing contents of cutlery draw in to object "alphabetical" order.

    4. Ensure all the cats are made au fait with all needful HSE requirements for your home - a 250 slide presentation should cover it.

    5. The above to cover the upstairs - now do one of the downstairs.

    6. And a separate one for the ingress and egress of the cat-flap.

    7. [you get the picture...]

  2. OMG! Are you some kind of psychic? How the bloody hell did you know that I did that to my cutlery drawer? you are spooky....


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